Dear Mom and Dad

From: Mother to Mother, Mother to Father, Parent to Parent

I wish to try and express how truly appreciative I am for all you do for me. There is never a moment in my life where I don't honestly appreciate all the sacrifices you have made for me and my family. I hope you won't mistake my moodiness as a sign of me being unappreciative or angry with you. Most the time I'm just lonely. I miss my husband and I am tired and worn out.

I'm sorry for all the stress we put on you. I know that none of our situations are ideal, and we are partly to blame for making your situation less ideal. We all face hard times and hard emotions. At times we don't understand fully how it feels to be in each others shoes. I forget sometimes that you are a parent just like me. You have struggle with each and every emotion I struggle with. I guess sometimes, as your child, I see you as being strong, so strong that I forget you have your own battles to fight. So much of my life has been spent trying to be less of a burden. When you were stressed I tried so hard to think of ways I could relieve you. I know it may not be believable, but I tried to not be a nuisance. When you spoke of irritating behaviors I tried not to practice those. When you spoke of lack of money I tried to think of ways I could contribute or things I could do without. I know it seems like I go through life selfishly. Only thinking of myself and what I must deal with. But I do try to think about what you must go through too. I guess I haven't been doing much of that lately.

I'm sorry if I have hurt you in any way. When I am hurt I try to find ways to express to people how hurt I am. And by doing that I usually do something stupid and hurtful in return. When I'm hurt I'm irrational and unkind. I'm sorry.

I hope you understand how much I love, and appreciate, all that you do. I love how good you guys have been to me, my husband and the boys. I love that the boys love, and miss, you so much. I'm glad that they have someone like you that they can go to when they feel troubled.

Please know that I try everyday to be the best mom that I can be. It may not look like it all the time but I love being a mom. I love those boys. I may get frustrated with them, but I'd get frustrated no matter what. At least with them I have the motivation to try and become a better person. And I do try. I know that I have been sent special, kind, sweet and obedient children. At times I don't feel worthy to raise such wonderful spirits, and I pray daily that The Lord show me what it was he saw in me when he entrusted me with the title of mother.

I love you always!

Your Daughter,
Tricia

Just Call Me. . .The Scheduler!

I admit it. I'm a huge scheduler. I may even be addicted to schedules. It's an addiction I wish I had discovered earlier in life. I could have been so much more productive. I'm a total believer in the schedule. You would not believe the change it brought over our youngest boy. He is so much happier now. And, now that he sticks to it all by himself, life is wonderful.

Here's how my boys scheduled day goes:

The Twins:

• 10:00- Wake up and Eat Breakfast
• 12:30- Snack time (though I'm not always vigilant with that one)
• Between 1:30 and 2:00- lunch
• 3:00- Nap Time
• 6:00- Wake Up and Snack
• 7:00- Dinner and Dessert
• 8:00- Bath Time
• 10:00- Bedtime

The Baby:

• 10:00- Wake Up and Eat Breakfast
• 12:30- Nap Time
• 2:00- Wake Up and Eat Lunch
• 3:00- Bath Time (he loves baths so if we're having a hard day in the tub he goes)
• 4:00- Nap Time
• 6:00- Wake up and Have a Bottle
• 8:00- Eat Dinner
• 10:00- Bottle and Bed

Seriously love our boys' schedules. Once I put the baby down at 4:00 I have two hours all to myself. It's wonderful.

Along with the boys schedules I create many other schedules. I give myself a schedule for eating. It helps me stay on my diet. I just give myself certain times when I can have certain snacks. I've also started a work out schedule. I work out on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's. So far I can only find time at night so I just do muscle building and stretching. I'd like to squeeze in some form of aerobics eventually.

I have a house cleaning schedule too. On Monday's and Wednesdays I do laundry. On Tuesday's I vacuum the floors upstairs and try to get another upstairs cleaning project done- like dust or clean the bathroom. I usually call it good if I can at least get the vacuuming done. On Thursdays I vacuum downstairs and clean up the play room- it's usually been trashed by the boys all week. Then I try to find a cleaning project to do downstairs as well. Friday is usually my day off, but I also use it as a catch up day. At the end of the month, on top of vacuuming, I try to get all the floors mopped. Though mopping the kitchen floor usually happens daily thanks to my children's messes. Of course, I also have to figure in those daily chores like doing the dishes, making the beds and picking up the boys toys upstairs. If I fall behind on those chores I usually regret it.

I started figuring in time to sit down and teach my kids some things. It's an effort to do many things. Get them to pay for a certain amount of time; teach them to do as I do with dancing or singing; start teaching them shapes, colors and to color- not just eat the crayons; and make sure I read to them regularly. I started it up because I wanted to get them used to how nursery works at church. But it's been good because I'm terrible at reading to them every night and at sitting down to teach them new things. I got the brilliant idea that if I schedule in the time I'd actually do it. So on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's I sit down with the boys for an hour or so and have lessons- I can't think of a better name for it. We usually do it around the baby's first nap time. It has been so fun to watch them grow!

Yes I'm a crazy schedule lady, but scheduling has helped me accomplish so many things. I even started to use scheduling to start saying family prayers and scripture reading. It's amazing how scheduling it in makes mountains look like mole hills for me. I really wish I had discovered this a long time ago. I just need to try and make things orderly and predictable so that life can become less chaotic and more fulfilled.

Just one more thing. With being broke I'm trying to find some ways to earn some money. I can take some nice photos and I also make some pretty cute photo cards. I'm still trying to hammer out some good prices, but I won't charge much. With the photo cards I can totally do long distance too. Just let me know if you're interested or if anyone you know is.



Go here to see some examples

Tables and Charts

I've been trying to find a good way to discipline the boys. They're at an age where it's hard to get them to understand just what I want them to do, or to understand just what they are getting in trouble for. I've asked around to get ideas and the major thing I hear is, "No matter what you do just be consistent."

Easy enough right? I did it all the time when I was working at the school. Only problem is at school we all came up with plans on how to discipline the kids. I hadn't done that with the boys. I tried to do certain things for certain behaviors, but I didn't feel like I was being consistent enough. Then when my husband's home he may have a whole different route to take when it comes to discipline. How could I expect him to do the same thing I do if I don't even do the same thing every time?

Well to solve this problem I came up with an idea. I made a table on the computer that outlines what to do for each behavior. I also divided it into different groups: Low, Moderate and Severe. Hopefully that will make sure the punishment isn't too harsh for the action. Here's to hoping it works.

I also made another chart for the boys. I got the idea from my sis-in-law. She used an envelope instead, but it's still the same idea. After I laminate these I'll hang them up and then when each boy does something good they will get a star in a square. When all the squares are full they get to pull off the yellow piece of paper to reveal the activity they get to do. I'll just pick simple things like "go to the store with mom and get a treat" or "Play with a box of tissues".


I know that the boys are still a little young to get something like this, but this is still very important to me. I've always been told to praise children as much as you can. And noticing good behaviors is always better than just pointing out the bad.

Just a few ideas we have been coming up with at this house. Hopefully it will help keep the screaming and whining down. I'm getting really tired of saying, "Use your words". They know enough words to generally tell me what they want, but they still haven't learned how to use them all them time. But when they do use them it's awesome!



P.S. The baby has finally gotten to the point where he stays on his schedule all by himself. You would not believe how much that schedule has improved things with him. He's so happy and smiley now. We're getting to were the good times are more numerous than the bad. In fact we just went on a trip and he did wonderfully. All the kids did! Best travel time ever!

A New Year! A Fresh Start

It's a new year and I'm already exhausted. My husband had such an awful work schedule. They have all the lower end employees take a few hours each on each holiday. Well all the holidays fell on my husband's normal days off, so he worked for almost 2 weeks straight. I was so lonely. Sometimes I miss him so much it hurts to breath.

Living life this way is just exhausting. As bed time rolls around I don't even know where to find the strength to put everyone to bed. They're all dressed in their pj's and everything. For some reason that last and final step of placing them in bed and tucking them in seems so daunting to do by myself.

I get really tired of being frustrated. Yes, I get frustrated with getting frustrated. Every time I start to get frustrated with something I try to tell myself, "Just stop! We're not going there remember?"

Well my New Years resolution is to work on being a better mom. Boy I love babies so much! I really do! It just brings me so much joy to watch them grow, to see their smiles and hear their laughs. I wish I was a more patient mother so that I felt like it was a good idea to have more kids because I really do enjoy them! I have a lot of great mother's in my life who's example I can try to follow. They all have traits I'd love to incorporate, so that is definitely something I want to work on.

And another resolution is to get back on the diet. The whole month of December was a bust. I simply must get back on track. I'm also hoping I can start an exercise plan as well.

Happy New Years Everyone! Here's to a new year of struggles, triumphs, joys, losses, love, laughter and much more.