Where the Wild Things Are

I don't know if it's monsters or spooks. But this Halloween has found us surrounded by some scary behavior.

I was in a show once where the director gave us this direction, "I want you to look scared like 'I just peed a little' scared."

For some reason or another, my whole household has been scared like that. Perhaps it was the mistake of seeing if the twins would like the movie The Witches-- one of them ran out of the room crying.

Seriously though, the baby peed through his diaper during his morning nap. I had to throw his bedsheets in the washer. But first I had to remove the clothes that cat mistook for her litter box.

One of the twins peed through his clothes on a way home from an outing. Then I got out of the shower to find that the cat had peed in my bra. I held it together up until then, but at that point I wanted to cry.

The whole family had the pee scared out of them, but their doings have been far more scarier for me.

Meet my three little monsters.



At least that's what they have been as of late. Not just to me, but to each other. The twins have learned to get along really well, but they have been fighting more. And their little brother just doesn't stand a chance. He's gotten beaten with a wooden spoon, and had his head pushed repeatedly into a door, by his brothers. I discipline where I can, and cross my finger in hopes it will get better as they get older.

My first little monster is the youngest. He gets his heart broken every time he crashes. Sometimes I can't blame him because he has tripped and fallen into something, and he usually hits his head. But the poor kid is still learning the in's and out's of walking, and to have him break down, and cry, every time he crashes and burns just really eats at the nerves.



The twins have been Hell in a Hand basket-- pardon the expression. Our last two outings have led to me grabbing them and threatening to leave. I stop, tell them they need to behave or else we will go home-- in a very aggravated, slightly loud and very stern tone-- and then I stand up and look around, wondering what people must think of me. I mostly wonder because I could feel I was on the edge of acting reasonably. I probably should have tried a little bit harder to keep it under control.

Our first adventure began at Del Taco. I took the kids, by myself, after a family outing. My husband had to go to work. The twins were screaming, running, jumping, hanging on the ropes meant to keep the line, to order, in check. I tell them over and over to stop, but they don't listen. This is what leads to me just throwing up my arms and saying, "We're done! Lets just go home!"

A nice lady, in line, picked up my crying baby for me-- he had taken another spill while walking around. She said, "I have 5 kids, so I understand."



This encounter was encouraging, but I got slightly discouraged when the Del Taco employee gave me weird looks for paying, for our churros, with pocket change. I just couldn't bear the ride home without them.

We came home, and one of the twins kept yelling something at me.

"Would you stop please! I am so tired of you yelling at me!"

Did I really just say that? I couldn't believe I felt that way. A two year old yelling at me? Doesn't that just sound strange? But it was true. He had been yelling at me all day long, and boy was I tired of it.

Of course, he's a tender heart and he immediately broke down and started to cry. This one, in particular, has been a challenge for me. He gets offended at any little hint of "No" or "Lets not do that". The minute those words, or tones, escape your mouth he breaks down and cries. There's no talking to him either. I just send him to another room, or I go somewhere else while he cools down. He always just reacts. Even when you're trying to help him, but you just don't understand, he gets upset because he thinks you aren't letting him have what he wants.

Today was another venture. We went to a local pumpkin walk, and the kids just got out of control. Whining and crying, complaining and sighing, they sent me over the edge. I grabbed one of them and threatened to just go home.



What's funny is the one that is so good at home-- cleans, listens and helps-- is always the one I'm grabbing and threatening. When we go out he just ignores me and does what he pleases.

One of our kids even wondered off. We had no idea. I heard the employees talking about a lost little boy, and I thought "Oh how sad, I hope they find his parents."

Then they mentioned he was dressed as Superman and my husband turns to me and says, "One of the twins has wondered off." And he went to find him.

How did he get lost? We were right there, watching him play.

My husband said, "I think he was looking for us at least."

I can just picture him running around the gardens yelling, "Mom! Mom!"

Crying his heart out. Just like when he got lost in that maze last weekend. That was another outing. I don't know why I thought he would just stick with his older cousins. It broke my heart.

It's been so discouraging. I almost don't want to take them out, but I know that's how they learn. I just wonder if it's a lack of parenting or if it's just the age and circumstance.

I guess we both need practice. If things don't get better maybe I'll send them to live with monsters on some far away island. Or, perhaps, I'll just got to a far away island.

A Marriage for Time and all Eternity

As many know, who read this blog, I am a member of the LDS Church. And, as a member of this church, I try to make frequent trips to our temples. Right now, my husband and I, try to go once a month. We consider temple work to be a very important part of our religion. There we make covenants and promises with the Lord, and our families. We perform marriages. These marriages are not just "till death do us part", but they are meant to last for eternity. And we also perform work for the dead. Those who have not been baptized, or had the opportunity to be sealed together for time and all eternity. There is quite a bit I could talk about here, but hopefully this brief explanation is enough to lay the ground work for the story I really want to share.

Almost 4 years ago my husband and I were married. On our wedding day we made promises, and were sealed together for time and all eternity. But, as wedding days go, it was all kind of a blur. Which is why I enjoy attending other weddings. For some reason, without all the nerves and anxiousness, I can better appreciate the promises I made with my husband, and with the Lord, when I see others making those same promises.

Well my husband and I have hit some bumps in the road. Have I wanted to leave? No, I wouldn't say want. There were just times that I wondered if I should. And there were times that I thought, "Either way it's going to be hard. And if things don't start to change, leaving may give me a chance to get back on track."

My mind wondered to the what if's. What if I had dated my husband longer? What if I had waited for another guy to come along? What if. . .what if. . .what if?

I'm still devoted to my husband, but there are times were being devoted only means you're hanging in there, by a thread.

We set aside our night for the temple. Thanks to our special, new calender. And we got a sitter and made our trip. It was late, and we were the last session. I told my husband I wanted to do sealings-- this means that we act as others, who have passed on, who did not get the opportunity to be sealed together here on Earth. I like sealings because my husband can be by my side the whole time. I'm still not entirely sure of myself at the temple. It's still pretty new to me, and we haven't made a good effort at going in the past. So I really like to have my husband there to guide me through it all. We sat down, and they began. The first couple knelt at the alter. As they spoke the words, my heart swelled and my eyes teared up. They hit me just right there. I heard the promises I had made to my husband. And I knew that what we had was more important than anything here on Earth. That those things that troubled me were not worth sacrificing my marriage. What was important was to stay devoted and true to my husband. That we need to keep our family together. And we will be blessed for doing so.



I know with all my heart that the LDS church is true. Not just because it opened my eyes, and I was given a revelation and some good advice. No, it's because that night, when I received that revelation, I felt whole again. And I can not describe how wonderful that feels. Everything was made clear. All that had been clouded up in my mind was gone. It was all so simple now. And that is how I know it's true. I don't have to wonder, or guess, if what I am doing, or living is right.

I know my church is not everybody's church. I know that there are some that read this blog who are not LDS. My religion may seem foreign to some. I don't expect everyone to accept or believe every aspect of it. But just know I am a person who believes in Christ and Heavenly Father. Who lives a religion that is good, and that provides many services. I believe our church has done many great things on this Earth, and I believe that it has helped me become a person that does many great things as well.

I am also a person who is grateful for her family. They are all amazing people, who do amazing things. And they all would drop anything to help someone in need. I'm thankful for my husband, who gives me an understanding that most would not. And I am grateful for my children. They are so wonderful in so many ways. And they are so good to forgive their mom when she has acted badly.



Thank you to those who read!

Just When You Think You Know How to Play the Game. . .

. . .they change the rules!

Do you ever feel like you got this parenting thing down? Like you are super mom and can take on any mess or spill, any tantrum or fit? Your kids are bright shining examples, and everyone praises you left and right.

And then, all of the sudden, it all falls apart.

The twins, for example, would have certain personality traits. One was easy going and could go with the flow. The other really liked his structure and order. One was moody and had a tender heart. The other was independent and liked his space. We would think we had it down. We would tell people which traits belonged to which twin. Then something would happen. Was it a full moon? Perhaps a growth spurt. Maybe subtle changes in the weather. Whatever it was, the next thing we knew the independent one wanted to be held all the time. The tender heart was beating up his brother. And the easy going one would throw a fit at any change of pace.

We felt like we didn't know our kids. Now, you throw into the mix, another child to take the reigns. And that almost makes a whole new game.

You think you have it down. You think you know how kids are. What each stage brings. Then you have the 2nd child-- technically my third, but second pregnancy and second time around. My third has thrown a whole new set of schemes at us. He is very determined and bold. If he doesn't want a bottle he dramatically pushes it away, and gives you a look that seems to say, "How dare you bring me such things!"

He has to clear everything from everything. If I set something on the stairs, he knocks it down. He clears off tables and window sills. He pulls everything out of drawers-- I finally found the culprit behind the disappearance of my chap stick and lotion from my sock drawer. When he's done eating, and upset that you offer him more food instead of getting him down, he does a clean sweep. Knocking everything to the floor.



Today the three ran me through the wringer. I went on a fun outing with my cousin, and her little girl. To a place called Gardener's Village. They put up some fun Halloween witches in October.

Upon arriving, to our destination, my thoughts weren't distraught with how I would handle all three on my own. No, I didn't need to think such things. We have done this before, and all has gone rather well. But like I said, they change the rules.



The twins ran around like wild dogs released from the pound. Its as though they've been stuck inside for 3 weeks, and have forgotten how to act in public-- this may be partially my fault for not getting them out more often. The, normally, obedient twin was defiant and wouldn't listen. This all started when I couldn't make the transit train reappear. He ran all over the place, and didn't even give me a second thought. The other twin ran too, though he was a little bit easier to handle-- he had his moments though.

The baby threw fit after fit because he wanted to be out walking and playing. Not strapped and restrained in a stroller.

This is another one to get used to. During the summer the baby learned how to twist and turn his way out of the stroller. I never had to worry about stuff like that with the twins. All that twisting and turning comes in handy when I'm trying to strap him back in. That kid knows how to wriggle his way free.

Both twins ended up with bloody lips, and the baby kept walking off into crowds, falling on his bum and crawling off somewhere. Three or four times I walked up to strangers wondering who this baby's mother was. Sometimes I wonder if people think it's odd that I let my 1 year old wonder like that.

We headed to McDonalds for lunch. I thought a play place would be the perfect solution, and it was. It just had one flaw. There was no door to keep the children in. If the baby wasn't running out the door he was pulling shoes out of the shoe keep. There was a fun area where my cousin got him to play for a minute. I went to put him in, and next thing I know I turn around and another mother is pulling my crying child out of one of the little cubby holes underneath the steps.

One of the twins climbed way up in the play place, got scared and started calling out, "Mom! Mom!"

I had to talk him down.

Then we went to refill drinks-- I usually bring sippy cups and split a large drink between us all-- the boys kept asking for more and handing me their cups.

I tell them, "I can't refill that cup I can only put water in it."

"I don't want water!" They exclaim

"Well then here." And I hand them the baby's cup, that still had some juice in it.

"No, that's the baby's drink."

My cousin looks at me and says, "Don't you hate it when they start getting smarter and you can't trick them anymore."

It happened again in the car when one wanted a blanket and all I had was the baby's blanket.

"No, that's the baby's blanket. Don't want it!"

Even after all the excitement, of the play place, when we left the twins ran out into the parking lot without a care in the world. Not a single ounce of energy seemed to be sapped from their little bodies. All that running and playing still left them busy and energetic. And not listening to their mother-- I swear they used to do that.



We still enjoyed ourselves on our outing. Even though the rules for outings seemed to have changed, or perhaps I have selective memory.

Each child brings a different kind of joy, a different kind of love, a different personality and a different set of rules. And none of these things come typed up in fancy little How to Raise Me book. I'm slowly learning, and then relearning. That's what this whole parenting adventure is about, right?

Slumps and Ruts are No Match for Good Holiday Fun!

In recent posts I wrote about being sort of caught in a slump, or stuck in a rut. Since then we've been trying to keep ourselves entertained, and active.

One night, unwilling to face the most certain boredom of having to be alone with the kids while my husband went to work, I decided to take a jaunt to the dollar store. The boys got to pick out one thing each to buy. I didn't realize how wonderful the dollar store can be. They really have a lot of great things there. Well, great for someone on a budget-- or someone who is just dirt poor. I mean there were fun Halloween decorations, flash cards and work books and I even found some toy guns for mine and my husbands Halloween Costumes.

We also did some fun projects. We talked about our skeletons while we made skeletons out of paper plates. We even cut little shapes out for the eyes, nose and mouth and had the boys name them.



We also painted these leaves to hang up in the boys' room. We mixed light karo syrup with food coloring and used q-tips to paint it on. Warning: it is very sticky, even after it has dried for a couple days. I got the idea after subbing in a class one day. The teacher did this as an art project. One of the twins found this to be an especially tasty art project. He kept dipping his finger in the yellow. YUM!



For future reference, cut out the leaves first, glue them on paper, then paint.

We have also been enjoying our local canyons.

We drove up one on of our favorites on Sunday.



And today we took a fun walk, on the parkway trail, in the canyon by our house.




We still watch movies, A LOT! But we are getting back into the swing of things, and doing our best to make the most of one of our favorite times of the year!

Strange Brew!

Things sure have gotten strange around here as far as illness' go. It all started when the youngest to a trip to the doctor for a perceived ear infection and he actually had one.

OK, so that doesn't sound so strange, but it was kind of on the weird side for us. The first year with the twins was spent going to the doctor many a times only to hear, "These kids don't look sick. Everything looks good."

I'd swear their coughs sounded awful. I could almost bet you could here congestion in their lungs. One time, one of their ears was even bleeding. But still nothing was wrong-- bleeding ear ended up just being a scratch.

Not that I'm complaining. I just feel a little sheepish taking my kids in all the time for NOT being sick. You think you can trust your instincts.

The twins didn't get actual sick-- like fever, aches, wouldn't eat, etc.-- until they were about 15 months old. So it was unusual when my nine month old was actually sick with an actual ear infection.

The events got even stranger when he had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. We've never had problems like that. And yet, there it was. A nice red rash all over his body.

Ever since that, infamous, ear infection things have gotten strange around here.

There was the case of the melting eye-- as my husband called it.




Turned out to be allergies, of all things. Just a little Benedryl, and he was all better.

Then there was my morning with Quasimodo.




Same kid, same eye, only this time it was a bug bite. Benedryl still did the trick.

And lets not forget, the lovely abscess. Brought to us by the baby who's ear infection started it all.




I know it's sounds strange, but it's kind of strange to have people confirm that I should be worried about whatever bump, or swelling, my kids have. Most the time I feel like I'm over reacting. Or, I guess, a more proper way to say it is: I don't trust myself enough to not react, but I don't want to over react, but I'm worried if I under react it will be to late-- or things will just have escalated further than they should have.

I guess my biggest issue is I react when I shouldn't. I don't think about all the things that could happen. And, when a real problem occurs, I talk myself into thinking it's not as bad as I think it is. In fact, when it really is a proper time to worry, I'm usually not worried.

How's that for strange?

Luckily even our strangest of illness' have ended up being low key-- with a side of knowing that trip to the doctor was not for naught.

S is for Slacker

Just a side note: Every time I go to write a post lately I try to keep in mind to keep it short, but have failed. Sorry for some of the long winded posts.



If you looked up slacker in the dictionary you may, or may not, find my name there. The boys have lost interest in playing outside, since it's grown colder-- and since we had a week of unending rainstorms. And I have let them stay inside and watch movies all day.

At one of our WIC appointments they asked me, "How much TV do the twins watch a day?"

I really didn't know the answer. I didn't even know what was considered acceptable, so I could fake a good answer.



I just told them, "1-2 hours."

That could be true. I don't know. At least WIC didn't seem to mind.

Usually they wake up, eat breakfast and ask to watch Thomas. . .

I say, "After the news."

They get bored and go play outside or something. Then lunch rolls around. We eat lunch. I change their diapers, and I send them downstairs to watch an hour of TV before their nap-- this is a new thing we've been trying to try and calm them down before nap time.

Sometimes, at night, we watch Baby Nighttime Programs, on channel 9400, or they watch a movie in their room.

I'm really not the greatest at the "limited TV viewing" thing. In fact I always have the TV on, even if I'm not watching it, just to hear some voices.

My children probably do watch too much TV. I usually don't let it bother me because I think we are a very active family. One day might be spent watching TV all day. Then the next we'll leave the house and won't return till bedtime.

I did do good when I purchased a Thomas. . . coloring book. The boys colored in it for days. And show it off with adoration.



But, even so, the Movie watching has eaten at me a little lately.

"I should take them to the park. We should go find some fun Halloween stuff to do. Why am I not motivated to go anywhere?"

And now our baby has a pretty little abscess to get over, which makes going out even harder. I just feel bad because his car seat straps sit right where the abscess is.



My friend had a cute idea for beating the "Stuck in a Rut" woes. She put pumpkins on the wall, 1 for each day of the month. Then she wrote an activity on the back. Everyday her and her daughter pick a pumpkin and do the activity. I thought it was rather creative, and fun!

I, also, usually wouldn't feel bad about the TV viewing because of the lessons we do. But I really haven't done them since August-- that's when I went into party planning mode for my baby's 1st Birthday.

We've just now started to do them again, but I've decided to only do them every other week.

Yes I have been kind of a slacker around here. Trying to get things back in order has been a difficult thing. The change of the seasons always leads to adjustments as well.

Perhaps I'll use my friends idea-- her blog is private, but I wish I could link it.

A Year Has Gone By. . .And Then Some

I don't know if I made an official announcement on this blog, but my youngest turned 1 last month. Having your second-- or kind of second-- grow older is a bit stranger than having your first--or firsts-- grow up. In my head my youngest was the baby, and the twins were the toddlers. Now my baby is getting to the toddler stage, and that just seems crazy.

I keep thinking, "Are you old enough for that?" Than I think, "I guess the twins were doing that at his age."

But when it was the twins it didn't seem so strange. In fact I think I tried harder, and expected more, with them. But with my youngest I just have it my head, "He's the baby! He's not ready for that yet."

Luckily the child is persistent, and a very fast learner.

The year began sort of strange. I remember when they delivered the baby. He had the most awful, angry cry you ever heard. It actually kind of shocked me. I was thinking, "Oh my gosh! Put him back! He doesn't want to be here."



My husband and I joked about how he just didn't seem to want to be in the family. I think it was when he was about 3 weeks old we decided, that he had decided, we were OK.

Back to the cry. I kid you not, it was awful. When I finally started to just let him cry(after weeks of indigestion, formula switching and random feedings)he would escalate so fast. Luckily he would only cry for 20 minutes or so, most of the time.

My nephew was over one night and he said, "I don't like the way that baby cries. It's scary!"

Yes the child has a way of crying. It has improved, but there are still days. One day he kept following me around, wanting me to pick him up.



"I'm sorry," I said, "But I'm not going to just hold you all morning."

Finally I just ignored him and tried to let him cry it out. Well, One cry would feed the next. It was an all around pity party, with my baby boy as the main guest.

* * *

On to different subjects, don't you just love this age? I mean they are down right adorable that's for sure. Nothing beats a little baby waddle. That cute little way they have of walking, that soon disappears. And it is just so cute, at this age, when they mimic you. I wouldn't say it's because it's rare, even though it can be. The twins mimic me non-stop--from talking to scolding to cleaning and sorting-- and I have to say it's pretty darn cute. I think it is just because it's new and fun, and they're still chubby and babyish.



Of course, this age brings on some not so fun issues. Welcome to the busy stage! And busy was already busy before it got to this stage. That child is a walking catastrophe, that makes an appearance 3-4 times a day. He has no interest in toys. He doesn't like things to be on top of tables. And this one Halloween decoration we have-- a sticky, type, skeleton thing stuck to our china cabinet-- has become a main target. I've told him, "No!" I've let him play with it, in hopes he'll loose interest. I've even smacked his hand. Nothing can keep that poor skeletons bones stuck to the glass.



I remember when the twins turned one and I thought, "If only I had known this was in our future."

Daily they would pull things out of drawers. Play with a tool their dad had left out, I'd take it away and then they would cry-- sometimes I would let them keep it just because I didn't want to deal with the crying. I'd clean up, they'd pull it back out. I would get them away from something, they would crawl right back. And that thing that people always talked about, about how they would both take off in different directions, really happened. I remember having to decided which one was in more danger,-- that one is almost to the road, but this one is by the irrigation ditch-- and chasing after him first. And would they leave my stuff alone to play with toys? No sir! Not a single toy would interest them. And if I found one, they would play it for five seconds and go right back to wreaking havoc. And they were my easy going ones.

We now have decided to wait until 18 months to see if, or when, we want to plan for the next baby.

I have to say had I waited until 18 months with the twins things probably would have gone more differently. Well, that's what I say at least. I would probably still be pining for a baby. But part of me thinks I would have waited even longer. Maybe 3-4 years. Given the twins a good amount of time on their own. Let it just be us for a while.

Part of me wonders if that would have been better for the oldest of the twins-- he's incredibly jealous of the baby and is incredibly mean to him. But than I also think he came a long way, in a good way, since the baby was born.

At first he wouldn't even look at him. But, after a month, he would pat his head when he cried, rock his car seat and give him a pacifier if he needed one. It was really neat to see that change. But that change changed once 6 months hit and the baby started grabbing for his toys.

Even the youngest, who was such a natural big brother, has given into the sibling rivalry. They even try to block the TV so the baby can't watch their show.

"It's my Thomas!" They yell.

They do this to each other sometimes too. I'm not too worried about it. I think things will change when the baby gets more on their level. Plus he can already tackle them to the ground-- even before he could even walk. I keep telling them he'll be able to fight back, and he's strong and has extremely fine motor skills.



The year was an interesting one. Full of learning and growing, stress and tears, happiness and grief. Now that I have had a year to recover, from pregnancy, I really don't think I want to go back. Partly because it feels so good to have lost all my pregnancy weight. Partly because I'm enjoying getting into shape, and having my body back. But probably the biggest reason is because there really is no time, in the foreseeable future, that a baby would make sense for us. Can that change? I'm sure it can, and probably will. But for now I'm happy, just me and my boys.

What's in an Outfit

My husband made fun of me when he came home to find the twins dressed like this.

"What is he wearing!" he exclaimed. And let out a little laugh

"What?" I said, defensively. "He really wanted to were the 'Cars' outfit, but it was too cold for it. I was going to try and change his mind, but he was carrying it around saying, 'Cars!' so excitedly that I felt bad."

I'll admit I'm a sucker for sentiments. When my boys look at something with those extra special eyes, my heart just melts.

Looks like we need to get some long sleeved "Cars" and "Thomas. . ." shirts.