I Mean Really

I have been crazy mom this last week. I yelled at my kids non stop. I wasn't too happy with myself. My oldest are 4, and yet still some of the things that come out of their mouths just hits me. Sometimes they are so demanding and rude and I just look at them like, "Really?" The younger of the twins will constantly say stuff like, "Mom! You lost my Superman cape"
"I didn't loose it. It's your job to keep track of your toys."
"No, it's your job. You lost it Mom"

I mean really?

And now that it is summer they insist on going outside all the time. Not only do they leave the door open for the millionth time, they insist on dirtying every article of clothing they own. So not only does the cat get in, the dog that wonders get out and my electricity bill for the central air go up, I end up with a huge pile of laundry to wash and fold. And, while everyone is getting in and out of the irrigation ditch in our front yard and taking numerous baths, someone always ends up outside with no clothes on.

I mean really?

One Sunday the kids had all been playing outside and one of them pooped his pants. So I was washing him off, and told another child to get undressed so he could get in the tub. I guess what I, in fact, said was, "Go outside and play some more."
Me, tired of being disobeyed for the umpteenth time today, ran outside and told him to get inside and in the tub now or he couldn't go to Grandma's.
While all this is going on the sink, in the kitchen, was overflowing from the dishes I was "doing". Said child that disobeyed then proceeds to chew me out, "Mom! You made a mess. Clean it up now!"
Well that didn't go over big with me. I yelled at him, "I can make messes because I clean them up. Now go and get in the tub."
As you can imagine he was completely obedient and got right in tub just as I asked. He even said sorry. I know that last part gave it away. What actually happened is he yelled at me some more, I yelled at him some more, he slipped on the water and sat there and cried.

I mean really?

The twins started kickball this summer. They begged and begged and begged me to sign them up for baseball. The only thing in their age range was kickball. So we signed them up. They were all upset because they couldn't play that day. Well play day came and what happens, "Mom I'm too tired. I don't want to play kickball. I just want to go home." They then go out on the field, lay down on the grass, ignore their coach and throw tantrums of every kind. Ugh! Seriously it wears me out.

I mean really?

There is just so many things. I'm overwhelmed.Tired of not ever getting a moment to relax a little. I'm exhausted by the endless projects and chores around here. I love getting to go to school. I love my cleaning business. But in all honesty I love to take care of my home. In someways I get a slight thrill from keeping my house in order-- I guess its a "pat on the back, job well done" sort of thing. I want to just be home, but that is not an option. I want to take my kids to the splash pad, but I never have time. And when we do get to do something fun, the next day they'll be chewing me out again. It makes me so mad that I sacrifice time and money to take them somewhere, and they end up being rude and ignorant to me a day or two later. They're angels when we're out having fun, or when I buy them something. But I can't spend money on activities and toys all the time.

Sometimes I hope and pray my kids will turn out alright. I have become very lax in how I deal with things these days. I don't really punish a lot. I hardly use time out. I took spanking off the table because I, personally, need to draw the line there. Some days I feel like I'm totally failing but then I get a hint of something I may have done right.

The boys always get excited about helping me clean and fix things. They'll get rags to wipe up spills, tools to help hang curtains and carry bricks to help me with a project in the yard. They will always come and apologize, "Mom, I'm sorry I yelled."
Some days they are all such good brothers to each other. They take care of the baby. They help their brother with his seat belt. They take drinks to each other and share their treats. It is really sweet.
And even if kickball doesn't turn out the way it should, at least they see their Mom and Dad and Grandpa and Grandma come out to watch them play. I don't care if they walk away with an ounce of knowledge of the game as long as they feel the love and support of their family. I really think that's what is important.

I won't get this perfect, but everyday we're all learning from each other. And, I mean really, isn't that all you can ask for? :)

P.S. Great tip for feeding babies baby food: use a straw. At first I just stuck it in the jar and held it for my little guy, but then their Dad started poking holes in the lid, sticking the straw in and letting the baby hold it. The baby loves it and, as long as they can work a straw, it works great. This tip came from a really good friend that lives down the street. I totally swear by it :)