Every Sunday Night I pile my kids in the car, after having dinner at my parents house, take a deep breath and prepare to start yet another week. Sometimes we go for a drive to hang on to our weekend for just a moment longer. The lovely weekend where the time is ours to do as we choose, instead of doing what we have to do.
This Sunday, I climbed in my car, my kids were with their Dad since it was Father's Day, and suddenly my strength just left me. No deep breath would get me through this one. I just cried.
I hadn't realized how much strength it takes to face each week. I hadn't realized how taxing it can be.
Each Sunday I put on a brave face and try to face the hardships that will come. The hard ships of:
- carrying my 2 year old out to the car every morning and feeling him snuggle into my shoulder and wishing I could have just a moment longer with him.
- dropping my crying kids off at daycare and having to ignore their requests to stay with me.
- getting through another day of work
- coming home and caring for four kids and a house and hoping against hope I can have some quality time with them
-hoping I can get to bed before midnight.
- trying to be patient with my guy's opposite schedule and the lack of time we get together.
It isn't easy. It takes a great deal of strength each week. And boy do I feel it.
But its life, and feeling these things at least lets me know I can still feel. And it lets me see how strong I really am and how brave my kids really are to face it all with me.
So every week we continue to face every Monday.
