Keeping Up With the Schedules

I am seriously so strict about keeping a schedule. I never wanted to be this strict. I would love to be easy going and roll with the punches, but it causes me too much stress. I can't handle it when things are up in the air. Especially with the babies. When they pull random stuff on me my world collapses. ;) I do try to let things go here and there. Sometimes occasions arise that require you to just deal, but for the most part I try to take extra care to keep them on that schedule.

If I execute their schedule just right every day, I get to sleep in until ten. And if they stay on this schedule things go so much smoother during the day. They're happy when they're supposed to be happy. When they cry I know exactly why. They're naps usually go well, and mom can be happy and well balanced.

But things can't always go as you plan no matter how hard you try. And I'm afraid to admit that when my boys throw me a curve ball- wake up an hour early from their nap or won't go to bed when they're supposed to- I have a break down. I usually get hysterical and yell and scream. I try so hard to calm myself and handle it, but each cry that they utter, when they are supposed to be asleep, just digs deeper and deeper into my nerves until I can't handle it anymore. A lot of the time I get frantic. I'm so upset that I can't think of how to logically handle the situation- try teething tablets or gas medicine, maybe check their diapers- and I just become a ranting raving monster mom.

Today was one of those days. The boys gave me a hard time going down for their nap at noon. Then they woke up early from that nap. Then they ate lunch and spent the afternoon making, what my family has come to lovingly call, barnyard sounds.

I feel like I spent the whole day screaming. And then when the day was over I just felt like crying. I was so frustrated and worked up I felt like I needed to rant yet I had nothing to rant about.

Tonight was my girls night out, so at least I was able to get out. But by the end of the day I was so upset with how things had gone I couldn't even get enthused about being able to spend the night shopping baby free.

I know I'll recover. I know I'll probably wake up tomorrow and be overflowing with love for those boys. But as for now I'm still trying to sort through all my worked up emotions. Luckily I've started a blog where I can do just that ;)