*Insert Exasperated Sigh Here*

I love those little tater tots but this past week and a half I've just felt like the energy has been sapped out of me faster then their little crawling butts can get them into trouble. I don't know if it's the contractions,- they do a pretty good job of sapping energy- the lack of sleep, because they are entering a new phase I am unaware of and having trouble adjusting too, because we had a cool down and now it's heating up again, just the fact that I'm pregnant or all of the above. I was feeling so good and loving that I could keep my house in somewhat of an order, but then I hit rock bottom and I just want to cry when I think of all the things I need to get done on top of all the new messes they make for me.

On top of that are the crazy mixed up emotions of motherhood. I can't wait to put them to bed and I tell myself, "Just 5 more minutes and then you can start getting them ready." Then I go to put them down and I suddenly miss them and want them to stay up and play with me- as if I had the energy to do that. Then my husband and I took some money to spend on a weekend away for his birthday. Oh my gosh a vacation sounds so nice! But then I get sad when I think about leaving the boys behind with my parents for two days. Of course we'll go, but in the mean time I sit and wonder, "What the heck is wrong with me?"

And why on Earth can they not just sit and play with their toys? I try to drag them over to the toy box, but they always find their way back into my room and they automatically go for one of 3 things: the remote, the cell phone or the car keys. And letting them play with those is such a nuisance. If the channel changing, the dialing of weird numbers,- or accessing the internet- or the lost car kets doesn't get to me then the fact that they sit and fight over them does.

Don't even get me started on the messes. Oh there are days when a mess is well worth the clean up, but lately the lack of energy just leaves me sitting there wanting to cry. Today I dressed them, and my big boy somehow cut his mouth and bled on his clothes. "Well," I thought, "They are dirty anyway." So we went outside to get some use out of the clothes before I changed them and me wanting to water the lawn at the same time led to messy clothes and ruined diapers- which of course we are out of. So I had to throw overnights on them, but 5 minutes later one of them pooped. Nice use of an overnight diaper there. Then I go to get my glucose test, and stop by the cemetery to visit my grandpa- since we didn't make it on Father's Day- and a car door left open led two little curious boys to wonder into a dirty ditch. Yes another change of clothes for us. Then at dinner I caved and gave them chocolate since they wouldn't really eat much else- and that much else ended up on the floor. I knew it would be a mistake, but I still had to let out a sigh of exasperation as I scrubbed the chocolate stains out of their white shirts.

And then whenever I give them a bath and go in the next room to take a breather guess what always happens? One of them poops. Oh it is such joy to have to drain the tub, clean the tub, clean the toys, refill the tub, clean the boys and then sit and wonder if any of that water made it into their tummies.

I now know why some people only have two kids- or two pregnancies. Pregnancy is so much harder when you have to chase little one's around. I'm hoping in 11 weeks life will feel wonderful again. I guess it will for at least a few days, and then the late night feedings will drill their way into my patience.