Les Miserables

Last night, thanks to my husband, I actually got a date. Not only did I get a date, but I got to see a movie in the actual theater. And not only did I get to see a movie, but I got to see a movie based on my all time favorite musical, Les Miserables. As soon as the movie began I was overcome with emotion. Within the first few bars of music, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle the movie emotionally. Before the first scene ended I knew that my feelings on the film could not be expressed in a mere facebook status update. So I'm writing them here.

Were there things I didn't like about this film?

Yes. Yes, there were. At times I felt like it was too fast paced. I was not impressed with Russel Crowe's performance. I don't think he quite pinned down the tortured character of Javert. I wasn't a huge fan of the Thenardiers. In the musical they are the comic relief, but in the movie it felt like they didn't know how to stay true to the characters while staying true to the other themes of the story. It was kind of awkward at times. I also didn't like that they sort of down played one of my favorite characters, Eponine. I connected so much with her in the musical, and I hardly felt like I knew her in the movie. I was also not a huge fan of the camera work. The musical is so big and grand, and you have so much more room to be big and grand on screen than on stage. Yet with all the close up shots, and not really getting a sense of the scenery or surroundings, I sort of felt like the musical had a much bigger and grander scheme. I also was torn at times between the acting and the singing. Did I want the good acting, or good singing? Sometimes I got both? Sometimes the acting was so good the singing didn't matter. And sometimes I just really wanted to hear my favorite songs sung by amazing singers.

Does this mean I did not like the film?

Hardly. I loved it? I could have taken all the things that bugged me about this film and walked away totally disappointed. But truthfully it had such an impact on me that, no matter what flaws there were, I couldn't have walked away disliking this film. Plus it's Les Miserables. This is my favorite book, story and musical. How could I not enjoy it?

So here is my Les Miserables experience.

This was the first musical I ever saw. I love, love, love this musical. I have sung every part. I have played the Original Cast album while acting out the roles in my parents living room. I have loved and lived this musical to the fullest extent. I feel like I've truly explored every emotional aspect and theme it has. And yet, when that movie began, I was caught off guard.

The minute the movie started, and I heard those oh so familiar notes, I knew this experience was going to be unlike any other Les Miserables experience I have had. I was watching a story that was oh so familiar to me. I was listening to songs I knew by heart, and yet I was paralyzed by emotion. I couldn't allow myself to absorb it as I had before. It was different. It struck me down. It hit me in a place I had never expected. All that Les Miserables had ever been to me was now completely different because now. . .it was REAL. I didn't think I would survive. I seriously thought I may have to walk out of this movie. Not because I didn't like it, but because it was too close to home. The story switched to Fantine's I thought I was done for. Never have I felt this character's pain as I did last night. Honestly a part of me lived, and died, with her. Even though I knew my story was no where near as tragic there was still something that was way too familiar and way too personal about Fantine's experiences. I was heart broken. She wasn't just a character going through this pain. She was a person, a friend, someone who's pain I would have prevented if only I could. In some ways she was me. And I could hardly stand to watch her have to give up and sacrifice all that she had to.

The stories of those "dropped. . .at the bottom of the heap" have become too real for me. There's a part of me that has experienced a part of that pain. And it's a part of me that isn't strong enough to face that pain again. In fact watching the characters face it, and have to face it again, felt almost suffocating. How could they do it? How could they survive? How could they still believe in God, love and hope? How could they keep on living and not just lay down and die? I believe the need to answer these questions is the reason stories like Les Miserables come about. It's the reason I have always loved this story. And it's the reason that I now love this story even more. It's themes of how horrible and wretched life can be had become more real to me, and now it's themes of salvation and redemption had become all the more necessary in my life.

Even those convicts chained with Val Jean in the first scene still had faith enough to pray to God. Val Jean sang, "My soul belongs to God I know, I made that bargain long ago. He gave me hope when hope was gone. He gave me strength to carry on."And I realized in this story, created ultimately by Victor Hugo, there was a God. And these people, no matter how miserable, never lost their faith in that. And they never stopped believing that no matter how little the good they did seemed to do it didn't change the fact that doing good was the right thing to do.And it was better to do good than do nothing at all.

I believe there will come a time when my faith and hope can make me as strong as the characters in this story. I feel so weak right now. I struggle so much to just carry on with everyday life. But I wake up every morning, and as long as I keep waking up I need to keep trying to figure out how to improve, how to do good and how to do what's right.

Les Miserables is one of my favorite stories. It is also my favorite musical and the themes and meanings in this story have already touched me so much I couldn't walk away not loving this film. But now seeing it through new eyes, and new insight, and knowing that this story now holds so much more personal meaning to me, I truly have to say my love for Les Miserables has been rediscovered and relived.