. . .so little time- or patience.
My mind runs a mile a minute. Until this baby comes out I'm afraid I can't do very well at keeping my thoughts organized. It seems that the one thing that occupies my mind most is the one thing I have no control over: going into labor.
I always have endless blog posts, and facebook status updates, running through my brain. But actually typing them up and posting them doesn't seem to be happening. This could be good for the most part because sometimes my thoughts are rather dreary, negative and depressing.
Here are a few of the thoughts I wanted to make actual posts, but this will have to do.
*I have had such a rough time this last week or so. I've now been pregnant for a week longer then I was with the twins, and I seem to be entering a new form of depression. I was so frustrated with my body last week that I actually stayed up one night and just cried about it. It seems all my body is capable of doing is having irregular contractions that can be painful and annoying. I looked it up and it turns out there are quite a few women who deal with this, and I took comfort in their thoughts and comments. They do little to help me progress. There's no way to stop them. And, even though some suggest walking or other means, there's no way to turn them into regular productive contractions. When I get real contractions that I can tell are actually doing something they almost feel good. But they are usually short lived.
*The above experience led me to get even angrier about unsatisfying doctor's visits. They seriously spend about 5 minutes with me. And all I can do is sit there thinking, "If everything is always OK and always going well then why on Earth must I come here so often?" I know I should be thankful for my trouble free pregnancies, but truth be told they can be very frustrating in their own way. Anyway. . .I let my feminist side dominate me for a day or two and I went on and on about how male doctors understand little about how horrible pregnancy can be. The baby is healthy, so what do they care what pain you're feeling? Just buck it up and deal. You're pregnant what do you expect? Only call me if you see blood or your water breaks. And so on and so forth. I've thought that maybe I need to switch doctors if we decide to have another baby in the future.
*I spoke too soon because it was only a few days later that I met again with my doctor, and he was trying so hard to find ways he could get me in the hospital and get me induced. He was incredibly sympathetic, and all I could think was, "Finally!" We were about to set up an inducement for next Wednesday, but it turns out I don't qualify for induction until week 41. When you have a c-section with one you have the option to go c-section or VBAC. The choice is totally yours. I actually have to sign a consent form stating which I choose to do, and there are quite a few risks either way. But when you have a c-section with one the option to be induced goes out the window the next pregnancy. Now my options are get a c-section, wait for labor or be induced at week 41. But the sympathetic doctor did prescribe me some pain meds for my hips, which can hurt so bad from irregular contractions that I'm left limping through the house. I gladly took the prescription, and I'm now painstakingly- at least it's just in a mental sense- waiting for next weeks appointment to see if there is any progression.
On to other thoughts that I wanted to blog about. . .
*I have been finding feeding time to be way more successful lately. The only thing ending up on my floor now, the majority of the time, are empty dishes and spoons. For breakfast I have found that the boys love cereal, like Kix or Rice Chex, with sugar on top. Though I know this isn't totally ideal, and healthy, I still think the benefits outweigh the little amount of sweetener I sprinkle on top.
*I discovered that they have a fondness for Nutrigrain bars. These make for great meals on the go.
*I have also found that having our meals together, in the same room, at the same table, makes a huge difference in how well they eat. They are asking for all sorts of different foods now. As long as mom and dad have it on their plate the boys think it looks rather tasty.
*We've been getting corn on the cob lately from family members gardens, and I was shocked to find my boys love it. In fact, they actually started eating it off the cob last night. I was blown away.
*We've made a discovery in the cloth diaper world. We bought shammies- used to dry cars- and cut them up to fit into a diaper. They are now part of our over night protection program. They allow us to take out some of the bulk, and they have worked great so far. One little boy need two shammies to get through a night, but I've still been happy with them. Their diapers are still on the bulky side, which allows me a little giggle each night.
I've also been brainstorming holding cloth diaper get togethers. Sort of like selling Tupperware. I could have some product on hand, and show women interested in cloth diapers how to use them, and little tricks I've discovered. It will probably never happen, but it gives me something to think about and brainstorm.
OK so totally random post I know, but I do feel a little better now. I just hope I can get this baby out without being too insanely negative on here. Though I might be pretty close to an emotional break down. In fact, I might have already had one if I felt I had the energy to cry.
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