Strange Brew!

Things sure have gotten strange around here as far as illness' go. It all started when the youngest to a trip to the doctor for a perceived ear infection and he actually had one.

OK, so that doesn't sound so strange, but it was kind of on the weird side for us. The first year with the twins was spent going to the doctor many a times only to hear, "These kids don't look sick. Everything looks good."

I'd swear their coughs sounded awful. I could almost bet you could here congestion in their lungs. One time, one of their ears was even bleeding. But still nothing was wrong-- bleeding ear ended up just being a scratch.

Not that I'm complaining. I just feel a little sheepish taking my kids in all the time for NOT being sick. You think you can trust your instincts.

The twins didn't get actual sick-- like fever, aches, wouldn't eat, etc.-- until they were about 15 months old. So it was unusual when my nine month old was actually sick with an actual ear infection.

The events got even stranger when he had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. We've never had problems like that. And yet, there it was. A nice red rash all over his body.

Ever since that, infamous, ear infection things have gotten strange around here.

There was the case of the melting eye-- as my husband called it.




Turned out to be allergies, of all things. Just a little Benedryl, and he was all better.

Then there was my morning with Quasimodo.




Same kid, same eye, only this time it was a bug bite. Benedryl still did the trick.

And lets not forget, the lovely abscess. Brought to us by the baby who's ear infection started it all.




I know it's sounds strange, but it's kind of strange to have people confirm that I should be worried about whatever bump, or swelling, my kids have. Most the time I feel like I'm over reacting. Or, I guess, a more proper way to say it is: I don't trust myself enough to not react, but I don't want to over react, but I'm worried if I under react it will be to late-- or things will just have escalated further than they should have.

I guess my biggest issue is I react when I shouldn't. I don't think about all the things that could happen. And, when a real problem occurs, I talk myself into thinking it's not as bad as I think it is. In fact, when it really is a proper time to worry, I'm usually not worried.

How's that for strange?

Luckily even our strangest of illness' have ended up being low key-- with a side of knowing that trip to the doctor was not for naught.

Be on Your Best Behavior!

I have to admit I have not been on my best behavior lately. We finally got over the mountain of the baby's indigestion issues- gas drops and heart burn medicine seem to be working well- but then he started having bad days again. This did not make me too happy. I feel bad because he doesn't feel good. And then I feel bad for loosing my temper with him. I know he's not trying to make me angry but sometimes he hits this nerve just right and all my patience flies out the window.

Two days ago was a terrible day. He cried when I burped him, he cried when I fed him and he cried pretty much all through out the day. I know it's ridiculous to yell at a newborn, but sometimes I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears and yelling, "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! " OK so maybe I don't always just feel like it I actually do it. I don't think I'm actually yelling at him. I think I'm just trying to find an outlet for all the emotions that are knotting up in my stomach. But that's not what I feel terrible about. The worst thing that happened was when I went to pick him up to burp him. I had to stop myself. If I picked him up I felt like, at that moment, I might hurt him. I've never been that angry before. I've been on the brink of being that angry. I've been scared of getting that angry, but I've never actually been that angry. I guess at least I was smart enough to stop myself.



So, evidently, I've been fighting a kidney infection for all week. This has caused me to be in a lot of pain, so much pain I wanted to just cry sometimes. Then to accompany that pain there are severe chills and shakes. I could hardly function when those came on. Then to top it all off I get a fever and night sweats. Those leave me soaked in the morning. Being sick definitely means that I can't give 100% to my kids, but I don't want it to be an excuse. I need to learn to just walk outside and take a break. Leave the crying baby in the crib and just take a break. I did it once and it actually felt really good. I felt really in control of myself, which is what I want to be.

I finally went to the Doctor to get treated for the infection- I thought I just hurt because my hips were out of place or something. Who knew my pain could actually be treated? The baby is doing much better now. We found a better way to give him his heartburn meds and that really seemed to help.

Having three kids is hard. I've heard that the third is always a real eye opener. It's so hard that when any of us aren't feeling good I get this horrible despairing feeling. I can barely handle the kids when we are healthy and happy. Just the mere though of having to handle something else on top of that just makes me want to cry.



On a different note, my husband has been hired at a care center. Of course this means that he has to be gone for over 12 hours a day, 4 days a week which will be difficult. I want to be very supportive so if anyone can lend a hand I'd greatly appreciate it. I did survive my first day without him though. And it was while I was sick. Of course, this morning I couldn't find the strength to do it again, but I didn't want him to have to miss work. Maybe if he just stayed home from school I'd be fine. His boss ended up letting him have the day off, which I am very grateful for!

Yeast Can be Such a Headache

It all started when the baby got thrush. We took him to the doctor and got some medicine.



Next thing I know I have a yeast infection.

Then the boys get unusually bad diaper rash's. We try everything to clear them up, but my little boy's just gets worse and worse. Soon the sores start bleeding and every diaper change is a poopy bloody mess. We took him to the doctor and he got some medicine.

Things just haven't gone well since then.


I mentioned my big boy threw up in the car on a family outing. Well we thought it was from getting car sick, but then he threw up twice that night. Then a few nights later his brother got sick and threw up all night long- sadly it was at grandma and grandpa's too. He threw up for half the next day too.



The twins stayed with my parents while we took the baby in for his circumcision. We tried giving him soy formula and he spit up twice that morning and once while we were waiting to see the doctor. We tell the doctor about our colicky, gassy baby and he recommends a formula called Nutrimigen. It is super expensive, but it has been working really well. Even though we buy the new formula the baby continue to spit up on everything. Blanket after blanket, sheets after sheets. We went through all of our sets of sheets, and both quilts for our bed. The laundry just kept piling up.

Here's the part where it gets confusing. Why did the twins both throw up? Did they have a virus? Their poop wasn't green and they never had a fever. Is it because of teeth? They are getting a couple in- and I'm hoping that is why they are so winy and unpleasant this week. Or could it have something to do with the 3 different yeast infections we all got?

Then there's the baby. First I thought he was grumpy because of the thrush. Then he continued to be fussy so we played the formula game. On regular formula he seemed to have bowel movements all the time, he'd never spit up and he'd have gas. On the sensitive he only poops once a day, but he passes the gas. Then we switched him to the soy. This time he pooped once a day, passed the gas and started to spit up all the time- but his brothers got sick and threw up around this time too, so did they all just have a virus? We put the baby on Nutrimigen and he still spits up a little, he still only poops once a day and he is passing the gas. Is it better to have him pass the gas, or is it better to have him not spit up? He seems to feel better on the Nutrimigen so I guess spitting up trumps having gas.

Was it the yeast that caused this downfall of not feeling good? Or is this the new standard for my children?

Welcome to the World!

There's never a time in your life when you receive more advice then when you're expecting a child. And apparently the advice giving doesn't fade after you've already successfully had one child- or two for that matter. I was starting to feel as though people didn't count twins as really having a baby. They would keep saying, "Well you had twins so you can try it again with one." And I'm thinking, "I've had twins so I know twice as well what I do and don't want."

Well it wasn't too long ago that a realization came to me. People are eager to suggest and say what they feel you should do because their experience with it was so wonderful and special- or perhaps the opposite- that they want you to share in it too- or avoid it if you can. Though they might not agree with the path you choose they are not going to end their relationship with you simply because you chose a different path- most the time at least.

I say this because a week ago I made the decision to have another c-section. I, of course, had been told countless times not too and I was worried that had I not attempted once more to have a vaginal birth that I would be hearing about it from people for the rest of my life. My mom had to battle with this. One man that she worked with even stopped talking to her completely because she just got a c-section with her second child instead of trying for a vaginal birth. I told the doctor it was one of my worries and he said I could blame it on him if I wanted to. But as I was struggling with the decision, and slowly getting more and more unhappy I started to realize that I had to decide what was important to me. My friends and family had given me advice based on what was important and special to them, but is what was special to them going to be something I wanted, and needed, for myself. It was with that thought that I turned to my husband and said, "It's only worth continuing on in this state if you really want that vaginal birth right?"

"Yeah!" He replied.

"So if it just doesn't seem worth it to me then there's no point in me going on right? It doesn't make me a wimp or a coward? It just means I have different needs and wants as a mother."

With that I felt good and happy with the idea of having another c-section. It felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders and I wasn't so depressed or anxious anymore.

We went to the doctor on Monday and I found out that I was still only dilated to a fingertip. That's what I had been since week 37. But it didn't upset or frustrate me, it just made me feel even more secure about my decision to have a c-section.

The doctor did an ultra sound to make sure we didn't have to get me in sooner then not. We found my fluid was on the low side, but not the scary side, and that the baby was measuring 2 weeks small. But the doctor didn't seem worried about it, and we scheduled a c-section for Wednesday morning.

It was so nice to get everything in order before the baby came. We cleaned the whole house, packed all our bags and arranged babysitting for the boys.

We went in Wednesday morning at 6:15. After getting an IV, and being asked a million questions, I was walked back to the OR to get a spinal. A spinal is like an epidural, but the medicine is even stronger so you feel even less. My husband couldn't be there while they put in the spinal, which was really unfortunate because it hurt way more then my epidural did. It stressed me out a little that the nurses had to calm me down. But soon my husband joined me. I was so happy to see him I could have cried. I didn't feel anything as they cut the baby out, and it was so wonderful to hear that first feisty cry. He sounded like such an angry baby, but it was still so wonderful to welcome him to the world.




My husband took some pictures, and I was shocked to see how different he was. Then they let my husband hold him by my head for a little bit. I looked him over and over then turned to my husband and said, "He's not as cute as the twins."

Luckily the swelling went down and soon I recognized my beautiful baby boy. And he is just as adorably cute as the twins were.

I had told the nurses that I was bottle feeding, and I have to say I loved it. It was so much more relaxing, and easy. I was bothered a lot less, and I just felt good knowing what I was doing instead of latching on here, pumping there and bottles everywhere.

He was 6 lbs, 15 oz and 19 inches of sweetness. He was small, but healthy. No Jaundice and no level 2 NICU.

I would get really nauseated off and on that first day from the spinal, and I threw up once, but the second c-section still seemed to go much better. Not going through labor seemed to help a lot with the recovery. I also think it helped that I had been there and had a better idea of what I was capable off. It's now Sunday and I'm feeling really really good.

We came home Friday, and I was so engorged I couldn't wait to pull out the pump. My plan is to pump here and there, and just slowly ween off so I don't have to get engorged and be in a lot of pain.

My parents are still taking care of the twins. I miss them terribly but I know I'm not ready to take care of them yet. It does make it hard to have two little boys who want my attention and I can't fully give it to them. But I figure in a week or two I'll be well enough to play and have fun with them. Had I stayed pregnant I probably would have gone to week 41, and they probably would have had to induce me. That would have left me pregnant for these two weeks meaning I wasn't fully capable of being a good mom anyway. And then I could have ended up with another c-section which means the boys would have been without a full time mom for two more weeks after that. So I figure my decision was still a good one.

So Much to Say. . .

. . .so little time- or patience.

My mind runs a mile a minute. Until this baby comes out I'm afraid I can't do very well at keeping my thoughts organized. It seems that the one thing that occupies my mind most is the one thing I have no control over: going into labor.

I always have endless blog posts, and facebook status updates, running through my brain. But actually typing them up and posting them doesn't seem to be happening. This could be good for the most part because sometimes my thoughts are rather dreary, negative and depressing.

Here are a few of the thoughts I wanted to make actual posts, but this will have to do.

*I have had such a rough time this last week or so. I've now been pregnant for a week longer then I was with the twins, and I seem to be entering a new form of depression. I was so frustrated with my body last week that I actually stayed up one night and just cried about it. It seems all my body is capable of doing is having irregular contractions that can be painful and annoying. I looked it up and it turns out there are quite a few women who deal with this, and I took comfort in their thoughts and comments. They do little to help me progress. There's no way to stop them. And, even though some suggest walking or other means, there's no way to turn them into regular productive contractions. When I get real contractions that I can tell are actually doing something they almost feel good. But they are usually short lived.



*The above experience led me to get even angrier about unsatisfying doctor's visits. They seriously spend about 5 minutes with me. And all I can do is sit there thinking, "If everything is always OK and always going well then why on Earth must I come here so often?" I know I should be thankful for my trouble free pregnancies, but truth be told they can be very frustrating in their own way. Anyway. . .I let my feminist side dominate me for a day or two and I went on and on about how male doctors understand little about how horrible pregnancy can be. The baby is healthy, so what do they care what pain you're feeling? Just buck it up and deal. You're pregnant what do you expect? Only call me if you see blood or your water breaks. And so on and so forth. I've thought that maybe I need to switch doctors if we decide to have another baby in the future.

*I spoke too soon because it was only a few days later that I met again with my doctor, and he was trying so hard to find ways he could get me in the hospital and get me induced. He was incredibly sympathetic, and all I could think was, "Finally!" We were about to set up an inducement for next Wednesday, but it turns out I don't qualify for induction until week 41. When you have a c-section with one you have the option to go c-section or VBAC. The choice is totally yours. I actually have to sign a consent form stating which I choose to do, and there are quite a few risks either way. But when you have a c-section with one the option to be induced goes out the window the next pregnancy. Now my options are get a c-section, wait for labor or be induced at week 41. But the sympathetic doctor did prescribe me some pain meds for my hips, which can hurt so bad from irregular contractions that I'm left limping through the house. I gladly took the prescription, and I'm now painstakingly- at least it's just in a mental sense- waiting for next weeks appointment to see if there is any progression.

On to other thoughts that I wanted to blog about. . .

*I have been finding feeding time to be way more successful lately. The only thing ending up on my floor now, the majority of the time, are empty dishes and spoons. For breakfast I have found that the boys love cereal, like Kix or Rice Chex, with sugar on top. Though I know this isn't totally ideal, and healthy, I still think the benefits outweigh the little amount of sweetener I sprinkle on top.



*I discovered that they have a fondness for Nutrigrain bars. These make for great meals on the go.

*I have also found that having our meals together, in the same room, at the same table, makes a huge difference in how well they eat. They are asking for all sorts of different foods now. As long as mom and dad have it on their plate the boys think it looks rather tasty.

*We've been getting corn on the cob lately from family members gardens, and I was shocked to find my boys love it. In fact, they actually started eating it off the cob last night. I was blown away.



*We've made a discovery in the cloth diaper world. We bought shammies- used to dry cars- and cut them up to fit into a diaper. They are now part of our over night protection program. They allow us to take out some of the bulk, and they have worked great so far. One little boy need two shammies to get through a night, but I've still been happy with them. Their diapers are still on the bulky side, which allows me a little giggle each night.

I've also been brainstorming holding cloth diaper get togethers. Sort of like selling Tupperware. I could have some product on hand, and show women interested in cloth diapers how to use them, and little tricks I've discovered. It will probably never happen, but it gives me something to think about and brainstorm.



OK so totally random post I know, but I do feel a little better now. I just hope I can get this baby out without being too insanely negative on here. Though I might be pretty close to an emotional break down. In fact, I might have already had one if I felt I had the energy to cry.

Is There Anything Worse?

Before we went camping our boys started to come down with a mild cough. No fever or anything just a little cold. We were drugging them up all over the place. Before every nap and at bedtime we'd pull out the Tylenol, the Gripe Water, the teething tablets and the vapo rub. The boys started to bring me their medicine bag asking for more drugs. Are kids supposed to like taking medicine that much? They were on the mend, we stopped our med routine, and things were good.

Until last Friday.

My children were acting weird. They were so whiny and miserable. Every little thing would make them cry. We went swimming at Grandma and Grandpa's and they would have nothing to do with them. They just wanted mommy- this is very unusual. We got out of the pool and they just started bawling and shaking.

The next day was a pathetic attempt at a second yard sale, and all day long the boys were driving me crazy. We finally made it to nap time. When they awoke the felt so hot. I had wondered if they were feverish all day, but it was always hard to tell because we had been outside so I didn't know if they were just warm from the sun. We finally concluded that they were sick and had a fever. We left them with Grandma and Grandpa while we went to a wedding reception, and then came home and put them in bed.

Oh if we'd only known what Sunday would bring.

I have never, so badly, wanted to be as far away from my children as possible. They wouldn't eat. They wouldn't drink. They would barely take a bath. They wouldn't be held. The only thing they would do is cry. We were giving them medicine, but nothing was working. My parents came to a rather miserable dinner, and said they would take them for a walk. Thank you! My parents returned and told us we should just take them in to the hospital. We agreed, and off we drove.

They cried from the minute we walked in to the minute we left. Nothing would make them happy. Holding them was so hard because they had awful breath, and they were so hot from the fever. The hospital said it was just a virus, but they gave us something that was a lifesaver. The proper dosages for their weight and age. This made all the difference. We ran to Walgreens, and picked up some Tylenol and Ibuprofen, and then we finally stumbled on something the would drink. I don't know if you've heard of those Tum-E Yummies, but I love them. They can make a big mess, but they can also be great for car rides.

We got home and, after having the right medicine dosage, our boys were happy again. They shared some ice cream with me, drank some Tum-E Yummie and then went to bed.

Having sick children is just the worst. Give me an illness, but please spare my children.

Cloth diapering sick children is no fun either. In fact we've decided when they are sick we'll use disposable. Not only do they poop more, but it's harder to wash out and it stains worse then anything.

My kids have never had fevers until recently, and this was my first experience going to the ER. I always feel like the "mom who cried sick" when we take them to the doc or insta care. At least this time they showed the staff that they were really miserable. Usually they are happy as can be and the doctor is saying, "These boys don't look sick."