Strange Brew!

Things sure have gotten strange around here as far as illness' go. It all started when the youngest to a trip to the doctor for a perceived ear infection and he actually had one.

OK, so that doesn't sound so strange, but it was kind of on the weird side for us. The first year with the twins was spent going to the doctor many a times only to hear, "These kids don't look sick. Everything looks good."

I'd swear their coughs sounded awful. I could almost bet you could here congestion in their lungs. One time, one of their ears was even bleeding. But still nothing was wrong-- bleeding ear ended up just being a scratch.

Not that I'm complaining. I just feel a little sheepish taking my kids in all the time for NOT being sick. You think you can trust your instincts.

The twins didn't get actual sick-- like fever, aches, wouldn't eat, etc.-- until they were about 15 months old. So it was unusual when my nine month old was actually sick with an actual ear infection.

The events got even stranger when he had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. We've never had problems like that. And yet, there it was. A nice red rash all over his body.

Ever since that, infamous, ear infection things have gotten strange around here.

There was the case of the melting eye-- as my husband called it.




Turned out to be allergies, of all things. Just a little Benedryl, and he was all better.

Then there was my morning with Quasimodo.




Same kid, same eye, only this time it was a bug bite. Benedryl still did the trick.

And lets not forget, the lovely abscess. Brought to us by the baby who's ear infection started it all.




I know it's sounds strange, but it's kind of strange to have people confirm that I should be worried about whatever bump, or swelling, my kids have. Most the time I feel like I'm over reacting. Or, I guess, a more proper way to say it is: I don't trust myself enough to not react, but I don't want to over react, but I'm worried if I under react it will be to late-- or things will just have escalated further than they should have.

I guess my biggest issue is I react when I shouldn't. I don't think about all the things that could happen. And, when a real problem occurs, I talk myself into thinking it's not as bad as I think it is. In fact, when it really is a proper time to worry, I'm usually not worried.

How's that for strange?

Luckily even our strangest of illness' have ended up being low key-- with a side of knowing that trip to the doctor was not for naught.

Picture This. . .

. . .the boys have shut our bedroom door. I assume they are doing some form of monkeying around. I open the door. One little boy is kneeling on the bed surrounded by throw up. I throw my hands up, cover my eyes and hope the sight will go away. Because if it doesn't it means we have a long night ahead of us. Well the scene is still there, and my husband and I went about trying to find the best way to clean things up. I have to say my husband's damage control is much better than mine. I call my mom in hopes that she can take the other twin-- one sick kid is better than two and I think the baby, with his stinkier than usual spit up, had already been sick-- but it's too late. We change his diaper to find that wonderful virus green colored poop. The same poop his brother, who just threw up, had earlier. We kept them in our bed for half the night. We went through two sets of sheets, two showers and a change of pajama's for each parent and each kid. When we thought that it had passed we put them downstairs. Boy was that premature. The other twin spent the other half of the night throwing up. Another change of clothes and another set of sheets. Even so, I'm happier to get it all over with in one night. I spent the night nauseated. It wasn't a good night to splurge on Costa Vida. The aftertaste lingered in my mouth and didn't mix well with the other events of the evening. It was so unappetizing I finally had to get up and rinse with Listerine so I could fall asleep. The twins woke up with the runs, but no more vomit thank goodness. I'm glad to change poopy diapers because when the mess is down there it's easier to contain. Ugh! Sick kids, that's all I have to say.

Of course, this post can't just be about sick kids. That might be boring. Besides with my slacking off from blogging lately I do have some things to catch up on.

Don't you love the emotions of a mother?

My friend said, "It's funny what makes a mom happy. My son came upstairs and told me he threw up and I was happy to find out that it was just a little bit on his pillow and it wasn't hard to clean up."

The other day I realized that it makes me happy when my baby wakes up earlier than he's supposed to and I go in his room to find he's pooped. Yes I'm happy there's poop because it means there is a reason for him waking up and it has a simple solution.

I also find it funny that if either of them are hurting each other I get extremely angry. Especially when I come upstairs to find the twins have done something mean to the baby. I get so upset and be sure to put the child in time out and have them apologize. But sometimes I get too upset, and then I immediately feel bad for the child that is getting punished.

Seriously, sometimes I have so many emotions coming at me at once I don't know how to feel.

Well since I haven't been very good at posting lately I'll include another thing in this post.

Just a little update

The baby is now 6 months old and suddenly has become the annoying little brother. The twins don't think he should be touching or doing anything. He was even pulling on my pant's leg one night and they got mad.

Even though little brother doesn't get much kindness the twins have sure been cute to each other. If one wakes up before the other he walks around the house yelling the other's name. If he gets something like a bib, a blanket or shoes he starts looking for his brother so he can take him his.

The baby is getting better, and happier, everyday. I still have "I want to rip my hair out" days. And, I just have to tell you, he has the most awful cry in the world. My nephew even commented on it one day. He said, "I don't like the way that baby cries. It scares me." Instead of tummy troubles now we seem to be having constipation troubles. I've tried switching up foods but he still seems a little backed up. The Doctor recommended trying a low iron formula-- which we're yet to do because I'd rather eat a bee than switch formulas with this child. Then I remembered that several people I know, who have had similar problems with there babies, have used prune juice. Time to give that a try. Of course, if he does get too backed up I always pull out the Dark Karo syrup. I mix some with a little water and it gets them moving every time. And if nothing else works we'll switch formulas.

The boys have now come to an age where they have to do what their brother does. If I wash off their brother's binkie they want there's washed off. If I pull a new binkie out of the drawer for one the other one must have a new binkie too. If one needs a refill on his drink then the other one must get more to drink too, even if his cup is full. The worst part is with toys. I can no longer squeeze buy with just getting each of them their own toy. If we want to buy them something we have to plan on buying two.

And now just a funny story

The other night we were having pizza. I gave the twins each a slice and one wouldn't eat it. I started eating mine and he asked for some pizza. I pointed to his tray and said, "Look you have some." He folded his arms and turned up his noise. He wanted some out of the box. "Fine!" I said. I took his pizza, put it back in the box, waited a few minutes then said, "Do you want some pizza?" He said, "Pizza." "OK," I said. I then took the exact same piece I had just taken from his tray and handed it back to him. You know what happened? He ate it!

Feelings of Inadequacy

Becoming a mom was like finding that perfect job. But lately I've had a hard time finding what it was that made it so perfect.

I'm not placing blame on my children here. They are more perfect than anything. No, I'm placing blame on me. I'm the one that can't seem to climb back up the ladder of the joys of motherhood to view the wonders that only being a mother can bring.

I try to accomplish certain goals everyday: Take good care of the kids, find a good routine, find a balance between housework and enjoying the kids that everyone can be happy with and don't loose you temper.

Sadly these goals are far from being accomplished. This means almost everyday I disappoint myself in more then one way. Almost every day I feel I have failed.



I think if I could get the kids all in a routine I could handle it better. But there is just no such thing as a routine with the baby. One day he'll eat really well, he'll sleep for 3 and 1/2 to 4 hours and he'll be happy and content when he's awake. Then the next day he's just fussy, fussy, fussy. He'll only eat well half the time, it takes an hour or two to get all the burps out of him and just when I think I have got him content I lay him down and he starts to cry. At these moments I just want to cry, and I usually loose my temper

Then to top it off the twins are running around being their busy little selves. They get into everything that is not their toys. On a good day I can handle this because I have the energy and patience to just clean up the messes. But on the bad days I just scold them all day long. And, yes, I loose my temper with them too.



I know it's not anyone's fault. I know the baby is sick and in pain. But people act like that's a warm cozy blanket that should cover up all the problems and frustrations that arise from having to deal with a fussy baby. The truth is it's hard. No matter what the reason for his fussiness it's just hard.

And I know that what the boys are doing is just typical toddler behavior. But telling that to myself doesn't make my stress level go down.

Yesterday was a bad day. My husband pulled in late that night. He disregarded my blowout of a message I left on his answering machine- thank goodness- and came in and just talked to me. I told him, "I feel useless. I'm not a good mother anymore and you should just send the children to daycare because they would be better off there. I try so hard to take care of the house, and make sure there's food on the table, but there seems to be no point. The house is a disaster and nobody eats my cooking. I feel totally worthless and useless as a wife and a mother."

He, of course, consoles me and tells me I'm a good mom and a good wife. He then pulls out the leftovers from the night before and eats a hearty serving.

The men in my life are so great! They put up with so much from me. I yell and I scream, and they greet me with smiles and love that I don't feel I deserve. My baby will coo and goo, when he feels good, and give me delightful grins. Everyone says, "Are you telling momma that you love her?"



All I can think is I don't deserve that, and I don't know why he'd even recognize me as his mother. I've been nothing but horrible to him.

I'm really down and out. I feel like the only reason my twins turned out so well was because they were just simply good babies. And when I'm faced with a real challenge of a child I fail miserably. I long to feel the joys of motherhood again, but as each day passes all I can think is, "Maybe I'm just not as good at being a mother as I thought I was."

Be on Your Best Behavior!

I have to admit I have not been on my best behavior lately. We finally got over the mountain of the baby's indigestion issues- gas drops and heart burn medicine seem to be working well- but then he started having bad days again. This did not make me too happy. I feel bad because he doesn't feel good. And then I feel bad for loosing my temper with him. I know he's not trying to make me angry but sometimes he hits this nerve just right and all my patience flies out the window.

Two days ago was a terrible day. He cried when I burped him, he cried when I fed him and he cried pretty much all through out the day. I know it's ridiculous to yell at a newborn, but sometimes I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears and yelling, "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! " OK so maybe I don't always just feel like it I actually do it. I don't think I'm actually yelling at him. I think I'm just trying to find an outlet for all the emotions that are knotting up in my stomach. But that's not what I feel terrible about. The worst thing that happened was when I went to pick him up to burp him. I had to stop myself. If I picked him up I felt like, at that moment, I might hurt him. I've never been that angry before. I've been on the brink of being that angry. I've been scared of getting that angry, but I've never actually been that angry. I guess at least I was smart enough to stop myself.



So, evidently, I've been fighting a kidney infection for all week. This has caused me to be in a lot of pain, so much pain I wanted to just cry sometimes. Then to accompany that pain there are severe chills and shakes. I could hardly function when those came on. Then to top it all off I get a fever and night sweats. Those leave me soaked in the morning. Being sick definitely means that I can't give 100% to my kids, but I don't want it to be an excuse. I need to learn to just walk outside and take a break. Leave the crying baby in the crib and just take a break. I did it once and it actually felt really good. I felt really in control of myself, which is what I want to be.

I finally went to the Doctor to get treated for the infection- I thought I just hurt because my hips were out of place or something. Who knew my pain could actually be treated? The baby is doing much better now. We found a better way to give him his heartburn meds and that really seemed to help.

Having three kids is hard. I've heard that the third is always a real eye opener. It's so hard that when any of us aren't feeling good I get this horrible despairing feeling. I can barely handle the kids when we are healthy and happy. Just the mere though of having to handle something else on top of that just makes me want to cry.



On a different note, my husband has been hired at a care center. Of course this means that he has to be gone for over 12 hours a day, 4 days a week which will be difficult. I want to be very supportive so if anyone can lend a hand I'd greatly appreciate it. I did survive my first day without him though. And it was while I was sick. Of course, this morning I couldn't find the strength to do it again, but I didn't want him to have to miss work. Maybe if he just stayed home from school I'd be fine. His boss ended up letting him have the day off, which I am very grateful for!

Yeast Can be Such a Headache

It all started when the baby got thrush. We took him to the doctor and got some medicine.



Next thing I know I have a yeast infection.

Then the boys get unusually bad diaper rash's. We try everything to clear them up, but my little boy's just gets worse and worse. Soon the sores start bleeding and every diaper change is a poopy bloody mess. We took him to the doctor and he got some medicine.

Things just haven't gone well since then.


I mentioned my big boy threw up in the car on a family outing. Well we thought it was from getting car sick, but then he threw up twice that night. Then a few nights later his brother got sick and threw up all night long- sadly it was at grandma and grandpa's too. He threw up for half the next day too.



The twins stayed with my parents while we took the baby in for his circumcision. We tried giving him soy formula and he spit up twice that morning and once while we were waiting to see the doctor. We tell the doctor about our colicky, gassy baby and he recommends a formula called Nutrimigen. It is super expensive, but it has been working really well. Even though we buy the new formula the baby continue to spit up on everything. Blanket after blanket, sheets after sheets. We went through all of our sets of sheets, and both quilts for our bed. The laundry just kept piling up.

Here's the part where it gets confusing. Why did the twins both throw up? Did they have a virus? Their poop wasn't green and they never had a fever. Is it because of teeth? They are getting a couple in- and I'm hoping that is why they are so winy and unpleasant this week. Or could it have something to do with the 3 different yeast infections we all got?

Then there's the baby. First I thought he was grumpy because of the thrush. Then he continued to be fussy so we played the formula game. On regular formula he seemed to have bowel movements all the time, he'd never spit up and he'd have gas. On the sensitive he only poops once a day, but he passes the gas. Then we switched him to the soy. This time he pooped once a day, passed the gas and started to spit up all the time- but his brothers got sick and threw up around this time too, so did they all just have a virus? We put the baby on Nutrimigen and he still spits up a little, he still only poops once a day and he is passing the gas. Is it better to have him pass the gas, or is it better to have him not spit up? He seems to feel better on the Nutrimigen so I guess spitting up trumps having gas.

Was it the yeast that caused this downfall of not feeling good? Or is this the new standard for my children?

Is There Anything Worse?

Before we went camping our boys started to come down with a mild cough. No fever or anything just a little cold. We were drugging them up all over the place. Before every nap and at bedtime we'd pull out the Tylenol, the Gripe Water, the teething tablets and the vapo rub. The boys started to bring me their medicine bag asking for more drugs. Are kids supposed to like taking medicine that much? They were on the mend, we stopped our med routine, and things were good.

Until last Friday.

My children were acting weird. They were so whiny and miserable. Every little thing would make them cry. We went swimming at Grandma and Grandpa's and they would have nothing to do with them. They just wanted mommy- this is very unusual. We got out of the pool and they just started bawling and shaking.

The next day was a pathetic attempt at a second yard sale, and all day long the boys were driving me crazy. We finally made it to nap time. When they awoke the felt so hot. I had wondered if they were feverish all day, but it was always hard to tell because we had been outside so I didn't know if they were just warm from the sun. We finally concluded that they were sick and had a fever. We left them with Grandma and Grandpa while we went to a wedding reception, and then came home and put them in bed.

Oh if we'd only known what Sunday would bring.

I have never, so badly, wanted to be as far away from my children as possible. They wouldn't eat. They wouldn't drink. They would barely take a bath. They wouldn't be held. The only thing they would do is cry. We were giving them medicine, but nothing was working. My parents came to a rather miserable dinner, and said they would take them for a walk. Thank you! My parents returned and told us we should just take them in to the hospital. We agreed, and off we drove.

They cried from the minute we walked in to the minute we left. Nothing would make them happy. Holding them was so hard because they had awful breath, and they were so hot from the fever. The hospital said it was just a virus, but they gave us something that was a lifesaver. The proper dosages for their weight and age. This made all the difference. We ran to Walgreens, and picked up some Tylenol and Ibuprofen, and then we finally stumbled on something the would drink. I don't know if you've heard of those Tum-E Yummies, but I love them. They can make a big mess, but they can also be great for car rides.

We got home and, after having the right medicine dosage, our boys were happy again. They shared some ice cream with me, drank some Tum-E Yummie and then went to bed.

Having sick children is just the worst. Give me an illness, but please spare my children.

Cloth diapering sick children is no fun either. In fact we've decided when they are sick we'll use disposable. Not only do they poop more, but it's harder to wash out and it stains worse then anything.

My kids have never had fevers until recently, and this was my first experience going to the ER. I always feel like the "mom who cried sick" when we take them to the doc or insta care. At least this time they showed the staff that they were really miserable. Usually they are happy as can be and the doctor is saying, "These boys don't look sick."