Where is My Fairytale?

I don't live in a castle with servants waiting on me hand and foot. I don't dress in pretty dresses, wear a smile and dance and sing to my children-- well at least not everyday. My husband and I get by on cloth diapers and homemade wipes. Yet still I look at my life and feel I'm the princess who found her prince.



Cheesy as it may sound. Corny as I may be. I can't help but enjoy daydreaming of waltzing with my handsome prince in a grand ballroom while an orchestra plays our song. And knowing that, at my request, this dream can come true, as long as I'm willing to substitute our fine living room for a ballroom and my old 90's style stereo as an orchestra, is just icing on the cake.



So maybe I didn't get the ideal fairytale. Perhaps to the world it doesn't seem as though I'm living the dream. But somehow all my handsome princes make me feel just like those princess' I idolized growing up.

Yes, at times I feel more like the wicked old step mother than the princess. Sometimes even a magic mirror cannot make me feel young an beautiful. Life is hard. There are times I wish I could fill out my resignation and put in my two weeks notice. But the hard times make the happy times all the better.

I Understand

I was standing in line at a fabric store. My plan was to run in and out quick as can be. Well, the store had other plans. Who knew in the middle of the week, on a sunny afternoon, the fabric store was the place to be. I had to grab a number, and wait to be called, to get my fabric cut. I was two numbers away. Well that's not too bad right? I thought about backing out. It was nap time and I just wanted to get my kids home and to bed. The time was drawing near when a nap would be obsolete and we'd have to just skip it and wait till bedtime.

Then I was only one number away. "OK," I thought, "I can wait. I'm sure I'll get called any minute."

Well I waited. . .and waited. . .and waited. . .and. . .You get the idea. I started muttering things under my breath like, "I should have never come in here", "This is ridiculous", "One number away and they can't call it". My husband, who had time to go and fetch the car, came back in and I told him all about my frustrations. Then finally they called a number! Well, it was the number after mine. Then something wonderful happened. The lady standing next to me says, "Here that's my number. Trade me so you can go."

Well she ended up being able to keep her number because mine was the one before, but still what a lovely gesture.

It was later that I thought, "Now that is truly how one should help a stressed mom in a stressed situation."

Sometimes people confront mothers in an attempt to protect the children, but this usually just frustrates moms more and doesn't really improve the situation. I think instead of accusing or lecturing one should simply say, "Do you need a hand?"

Now I am not one that can do this. I am one that usually notices needs around me, but my shyness keeps me from acting. Luckily I have a wonderful husband whom will offer the help for me when I mention the need-- though I am getting better at offering myself.

I'm usually one that doesn't respond well to lectures or counseling. I don't like to feel as though I'm the only one who has experienced the emotions and frustrations of motherhood. I truly respond best to people when they simply say, "I understand."

And even though the words never came out of my Good Samaritans mouth. I feel her actions said it for her.

Picture This. . .

. . .the boys have shut our bedroom door. I assume they are doing some form of monkeying around. I open the door. One little boy is kneeling on the bed surrounded by throw up. I throw my hands up, cover my eyes and hope the sight will go away. Because if it doesn't it means we have a long night ahead of us. Well the scene is still there, and my husband and I went about trying to find the best way to clean things up. I have to say my husband's damage control is much better than mine. I call my mom in hopes that she can take the other twin-- one sick kid is better than two and I think the baby, with his stinkier than usual spit up, had already been sick-- but it's too late. We change his diaper to find that wonderful virus green colored poop. The same poop his brother, who just threw up, had earlier. We kept them in our bed for half the night. We went through two sets of sheets, two showers and a change of pajama's for each parent and each kid. When we thought that it had passed we put them downstairs. Boy was that premature. The other twin spent the other half of the night throwing up. Another change of clothes and another set of sheets. Even so, I'm happier to get it all over with in one night. I spent the night nauseated. It wasn't a good night to splurge on Costa Vida. The aftertaste lingered in my mouth and didn't mix well with the other events of the evening. It was so unappetizing I finally had to get up and rinse with Listerine so I could fall asleep. The twins woke up with the runs, but no more vomit thank goodness. I'm glad to change poopy diapers because when the mess is down there it's easier to contain. Ugh! Sick kids, that's all I have to say.

Of course, this post can't just be about sick kids. That might be boring. Besides with my slacking off from blogging lately I do have some things to catch up on.

Don't you love the emotions of a mother?

My friend said, "It's funny what makes a mom happy. My son came upstairs and told me he threw up and I was happy to find out that it was just a little bit on his pillow and it wasn't hard to clean up."

The other day I realized that it makes me happy when my baby wakes up earlier than he's supposed to and I go in his room to find he's pooped. Yes I'm happy there's poop because it means there is a reason for him waking up and it has a simple solution.

I also find it funny that if either of them are hurting each other I get extremely angry. Especially when I come upstairs to find the twins have done something mean to the baby. I get so upset and be sure to put the child in time out and have them apologize. But sometimes I get too upset, and then I immediately feel bad for the child that is getting punished.

Seriously, sometimes I have so many emotions coming at me at once I don't know how to feel.

Well since I haven't been very good at posting lately I'll include another thing in this post.

Just a little update

The baby is now 6 months old and suddenly has become the annoying little brother. The twins don't think he should be touching or doing anything. He was even pulling on my pant's leg one night and they got mad.

Even though little brother doesn't get much kindness the twins have sure been cute to each other. If one wakes up before the other he walks around the house yelling the other's name. If he gets something like a bib, a blanket or shoes he starts looking for his brother so he can take him his.

The baby is getting better, and happier, everyday. I still have "I want to rip my hair out" days. And, I just have to tell you, he has the most awful cry in the world. My nephew even commented on it one day. He said, "I don't like the way that baby cries. It scares me." Instead of tummy troubles now we seem to be having constipation troubles. I've tried switching up foods but he still seems a little backed up. The Doctor recommended trying a low iron formula-- which we're yet to do because I'd rather eat a bee than switch formulas with this child. Then I remembered that several people I know, who have had similar problems with there babies, have used prune juice. Time to give that a try. Of course, if he does get too backed up I always pull out the Dark Karo syrup. I mix some with a little water and it gets them moving every time. And if nothing else works we'll switch formulas.

The boys have now come to an age where they have to do what their brother does. If I wash off their brother's binkie they want there's washed off. If I pull a new binkie out of the drawer for one the other one must have a new binkie too. If one needs a refill on his drink then the other one must get more to drink too, even if his cup is full. The worst part is with toys. I can no longer squeeze buy with just getting each of them their own toy. If we want to buy them something we have to plan on buying two.

And now just a funny story

The other night we were having pizza. I gave the twins each a slice and one wouldn't eat it. I started eating mine and he asked for some pizza. I pointed to his tray and said, "Look you have some." He folded his arms and turned up his noise. He wanted some out of the box. "Fine!" I said. I took his pizza, put it back in the box, waited a few minutes then said, "Do you want some pizza?" He said, "Pizza." "OK," I said. I then took the exact same piece I had just taken from his tray and handed it back to him. You know what happened? He ate it!

It's Just Being a Mom

There's ups and downs, high and lows. Sometimes you feel like you deserve a medal. Sometimes you feel like your kids should be taken away for their own good. It's all part of being mom.

My mommy experiences as of lately:

The family ran some errands last Monday, and we ended up having to stop for some lunch. We stopped at a Carls Jr in Provo- which has an awesome playplace by the way. I knew one of the twins needed a bum change so I took him to the bathroom. Well I forgot wipes, so back we went to get the wipes. The other twin followed us back to the bathroom. I took the dirty cloth diaper off and set it on the floor until I could rinse it out. I cleaned up the boy and the diaper cover, put on a fresh diaper, snapped his onesie and I was about to set him down until I noticed something funny on the floor. The other twin had stepped in the poopy diaper I had set on the floor and now there was lovely poopy shoe prints decorating the floor of the ladies room. Luckily the trail wasn't long, and I was able to wipe it up pretty quickly. Cleaning up his shoe was another story. I finally got that clean then decided to check his diaper. Well he'd been sick so he had some diarrhea and it had fried his bum and I, of course, forgot to grab some diaper cream for him. What to do? My husband was there, but he had to watch the baby so he, even if I called him, wouldn't be able to bring it to me. I'm not good at following the "don't leave your child unattended" rule. I'll take a trip to the garbage or go wash my hands while the kid lays on the table. But leaving him alone in the bathroom, bare bottomed, while I walk across the restaurant to grab some diaper cream was a little to rebellious for my taste. I had but one resource: his brother. Quickly I tried calling my husband. His phone was dead, of course. So I poked my head out the door to try and get his attention. Low and behold he was looking for me as well. Apparently he didn't know both the boys had followed me to the bathroom. Boy was he relieved! I then sent the bigger twin to him and told him to send him back with some diaper cream. I was just going to wait right outside the door for my big boy to come back, but another customer went into the restroom, so I went inside to wait with my half naked child that was awaiting his diaper change. A few minutes later I went to check on the other twin to see if he was headed my way with the cream. Well, there he was standing right outside the door with the cream in hand. Oh, it was the sweetest thing in the world! I then sent him back to his Dad, finished up with the other twin and went to join the rest of the fam for lunch. I was so proud of my big boy that day. He got just a little bigger in my eyes.



As I mentioned my little boy was sick. Well we've had our fill of sick kids around here. First it was the littler twin. We had 3-4 days of diarrhea, bum burns and vomiting. Half of it took place in the middle of the night. He finally got better, and then the next week his brother came home from a drive with Grandma and Grandpa and threw up all over the floor. "Maybe he got car sick," my parents said. I could only hope, but hope wasn't enough. He was sick. More vomiting, but less bum burn than his brother. His illness was wrapping up just as the littler twin started to get sick again. This time a lovely gagging cough. One sleepless night was full of crying and coughing every half hour. I got so fed up I took them upstairs to lie in bed with my husband and I slept on the couch. When my husband left for work I got into bed with the twins. Only something was different. The sheets had been changed. Apparently we the bigger twin had one more night of vomiting to get over. When I got into bed my little boy was coughing and gagging. It was so sad. He didn't wake up but it still broke my heart. I pulled out some vapor rub and that seemed to help relieve him.

I'm not opposed to having more children until my children get sick. Each time we add a child to the family it's one more sick child we have to deal with. At least illness' don't last forever. I just wish that they all could get sick at the same time so we could just get it over with. Why does it have to be one each week. I just keep praying that the baby doesn't end up sick now.

My husband and I just celebrated our 3rd anniversary. It feels like we've been married forever. I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean that we just seem mature as a couple- not as individuals :). My parents are out of town and we couldn't get a babysitter, so we celebrated with the children. The screaming, crying, pooping children. My big boy woke up hysterical from his nap. He had pooped and it was still kind of in the diarrhea stage. It had ran all down his leg and he was very upset. I was cleaning him up and he was hitting me because he was so upset. It's one of the ways he throws a tantrum. I just tell him to fold his arms and use his words and one of those words has to be "Sorry". If it gets really bad I stick up in time out- though that wasn't an option at this particular time. I got him all cleaned up and then the littler twin wondered upstairs bawling for some reason. I stuck them both in the bath, and went to attend to the baby who was now crying- he'd been left alone for too long. Now, I'd have to hold the baby or listen to him cry hysterically. Once he gets past a certain point of the "I've been neglected" cry there is no going back. Eventually we just had to put him in his room to cry until it was dinner time. I was hoping my husband could offer some helping hands with getting our anniversary dinner on the table, but he had to attend to the crying children. Despite all this, I did manage to get dinner on the nicely set table. The kids even calmed down and we sat down to enjoy our delicious food. My husband poured the Martinelli's and passed the Alfredo. As I reached for the pasta I knocked my glass, full of sparkling cider, right into the Alfredo sauce. A small part of me wanted to laugh. A bigger part of me wanted to cry. Neither one won. I was so worried that sauce was ruined. I sprinkled in some Parmesan cheese, and all was well. The apple cider gave it a nice subtle sweet after taste. The night was rather enjoyable. I just have to laugh at all the mishaps. This anniversary was a taste of what anniversaries as a parent will probably be like from now on.



Oh I forgot to mention that my husband and I also caught a movie for our anniversary. We went the day before to see "Tangled". We wanted to catch a Matinée so that it would be cheaper, but that once again left us with no sitter. We braved it with all three children. The theater was empty except for one guy, who also had a kid with him. I was nervous. I didn't know how it would be with all three kids, but it ended up going very smoothly. The theater was dark, so feeding the baby and tracking the twins lunch down was a little hard. But I still could not have asked for it to go better. I was so prepared for having to leave every five seconds with one kid or the other, but the only time I had to leave was when I needed to get water for the baby's bottle.

I must also mention that the twins are finally paying attention to movies now. They ask to watch "The Leapfrog Letter Factory" movie everyday. The minute the wake up all you hear is "Moofie Moofie," until you turn it on. You can distract them here and there with some music for dancing or a nice meal or snack. But other than that from breakfast time to bed time its, "Moofie, Moofie, Mofie". And if you don't turn it on they'll push buttons, play with remotes and pull cords until you do turn it on. I have to admit I get really tired of watching the "Moofie". Sometimes I can get them into a show on PBS, or anther Leapfrog movie, but nothing satisfies like "The Letter Factory". I can usually tune it out, but I still get bugged that I can't at least watch the news. When I can't watch the news I start to feel really cut off from the outside world. But still my heart smiles a little each time when the menu for the "Moofie" comes on and boys start making the letter sounds. No matter how many times I see it it's still cute!

Dear Mom and Dad

From: Mother to Mother, Mother to Father, Parent to Parent

I wish to try and express how truly appreciative I am for all you do for me. There is never a moment in my life where I don't honestly appreciate all the sacrifices you have made for me and my family. I hope you won't mistake my moodiness as a sign of me being unappreciative or angry with you. Most the time I'm just lonely. I miss my husband and I am tired and worn out.

I'm sorry for all the stress we put on you. I know that none of our situations are ideal, and we are partly to blame for making your situation less ideal. We all face hard times and hard emotions. At times we don't understand fully how it feels to be in each others shoes. I forget sometimes that you are a parent just like me. You have struggle with each and every emotion I struggle with. I guess sometimes, as your child, I see you as being strong, so strong that I forget you have your own battles to fight. So much of my life has been spent trying to be less of a burden. When you were stressed I tried so hard to think of ways I could relieve you. I know it may not be believable, but I tried to not be a nuisance. When you spoke of irritating behaviors I tried not to practice those. When you spoke of lack of money I tried to think of ways I could contribute or things I could do without. I know it seems like I go through life selfishly. Only thinking of myself and what I must deal with. But I do try to think about what you must go through too. I guess I haven't been doing much of that lately.

I'm sorry if I have hurt you in any way. When I am hurt I try to find ways to express to people how hurt I am. And by doing that I usually do something stupid and hurtful in return. When I'm hurt I'm irrational and unkind. I'm sorry.

I hope you understand how much I love, and appreciate, all that you do. I love how good you guys have been to me, my husband and the boys. I love that the boys love, and miss, you so much. I'm glad that they have someone like you that they can go to when they feel troubled.

Please know that I try everyday to be the best mom that I can be. It may not look like it all the time but I love being a mom. I love those boys. I may get frustrated with them, but I'd get frustrated no matter what. At least with them I have the motivation to try and become a better person. And I do try. I know that I have been sent special, kind, sweet and obedient children. At times I don't feel worthy to raise such wonderful spirits, and I pray daily that The Lord show me what it was he saw in me when he entrusted me with the title of mother.

I love you always!

Your Daughter,
Tricia

Just Call Me. . .The Scheduler!

I admit it. I'm a huge scheduler. I may even be addicted to schedules. It's an addiction I wish I had discovered earlier in life. I could have been so much more productive. I'm a total believer in the schedule. You would not believe the change it brought over our youngest boy. He is so much happier now. And, now that he sticks to it all by himself, life is wonderful.

Here's how my boys scheduled day goes:

The Twins:

• 10:00- Wake up and Eat Breakfast
• 12:30- Snack time (though I'm not always vigilant with that one)
• Between 1:30 and 2:00- lunch
• 3:00- Nap Time
• 6:00- Wake Up and Snack
• 7:00- Dinner and Dessert
• 8:00- Bath Time
• 10:00- Bedtime

The Baby:

• 10:00- Wake Up and Eat Breakfast
• 12:30- Nap Time
• 2:00- Wake Up and Eat Lunch
• 3:00- Bath Time (he loves baths so if we're having a hard day in the tub he goes)
• 4:00- Nap Time
• 6:00- Wake up and Have a Bottle
• 8:00- Eat Dinner
• 10:00- Bottle and Bed

Seriously love our boys' schedules. Once I put the baby down at 4:00 I have two hours all to myself. It's wonderful.

Along with the boys schedules I create many other schedules. I give myself a schedule for eating. It helps me stay on my diet. I just give myself certain times when I can have certain snacks. I've also started a work out schedule. I work out on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's. So far I can only find time at night so I just do muscle building and stretching. I'd like to squeeze in some form of aerobics eventually.

I have a house cleaning schedule too. On Monday's and Wednesdays I do laundry. On Tuesday's I vacuum the floors upstairs and try to get another upstairs cleaning project done- like dust or clean the bathroom. I usually call it good if I can at least get the vacuuming done. On Thursdays I vacuum downstairs and clean up the play room- it's usually been trashed by the boys all week. Then I try to find a cleaning project to do downstairs as well. Friday is usually my day off, but I also use it as a catch up day. At the end of the month, on top of vacuuming, I try to get all the floors mopped. Though mopping the kitchen floor usually happens daily thanks to my children's messes. Of course, I also have to figure in those daily chores like doing the dishes, making the beds and picking up the boys toys upstairs. If I fall behind on those chores I usually regret it.

I started figuring in time to sit down and teach my kids some things. It's an effort to do many things. Get them to pay for a certain amount of time; teach them to do as I do with dancing or singing; start teaching them shapes, colors and to color- not just eat the crayons; and make sure I read to them regularly. I started it up because I wanted to get them used to how nursery works at church. But it's been good because I'm terrible at reading to them every night and at sitting down to teach them new things. I got the brilliant idea that if I schedule in the time I'd actually do it. So on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's I sit down with the boys for an hour or so and have lessons- I can't think of a better name for it. We usually do it around the baby's first nap time. It has been so fun to watch them grow!

Yes I'm a crazy schedule lady, but scheduling has helped me accomplish so many things. I even started to use scheduling to start saying family prayers and scripture reading. It's amazing how scheduling it in makes mountains look like mole hills for me. I really wish I had discovered this a long time ago. I just need to try and make things orderly and predictable so that life can become less chaotic and more fulfilled.

Just one more thing. With being broke I'm trying to find some ways to earn some money. I can take some nice photos and I also make some pretty cute photo cards. I'm still trying to hammer out some good prices, but I won't charge much. With the photo cards I can totally do long distance too. Just let me know if you're interested or if anyone you know is.



Go here to see some examples

Tables and Charts

I've been trying to find a good way to discipline the boys. They're at an age where it's hard to get them to understand just what I want them to do, or to understand just what they are getting in trouble for. I've asked around to get ideas and the major thing I hear is, "No matter what you do just be consistent."

Easy enough right? I did it all the time when I was working at the school. Only problem is at school we all came up with plans on how to discipline the kids. I hadn't done that with the boys. I tried to do certain things for certain behaviors, but I didn't feel like I was being consistent enough. Then when my husband's home he may have a whole different route to take when it comes to discipline. How could I expect him to do the same thing I do if I don't even do the same thing every time?

Well to solve this problem I came up with an idea. I made a table on the computer that outlines what to do for each behavior. I also divided it into different groups: Low, Moderate and Severe. Hopefully that will make sure the punishment isn't too harsh for the action. Here's to hoping it works.

I also made another chart for the boys. I got the idea from my sis-in-law. She used an envelope instead, but it's still the same idea. After I laminate these I'll hang them up and then when each boy does something good they will get a star in a square. When all the squares are full they get to pull off the yellow piece of paper to reveal the activity they get to do. I'll just pick simple things like "go to the store with mom and get a treat" or "Play with a box of tissues".


I know that the boys are still a little young to get something like this, but this is still very important to me. I've always been told to praise children as much as you can. And noticing good behaviors is always better than just pointing out the bad.

Just a few ideas we have been coming up with at this house. Hopefully it will help keep the screaming and whining down. I'm getting really tired of saying, "Use your words". They know enough words to generally tell me what they want, but they still haven't learned how to use them all them time. But when they do use them it's awesome!



P.S. The baby has finally gotten to the point where he stays on his schedule all by himself. You would not believe how much that schedule has improved things with him. He's so happy and smiley now. We're getting to were the good times are more numerous than the bad. In fact we just went on a trip and he did wonderfully. All the kids did! Best travel time ever!